Repost - WWF Wrestlemania 7

The Furious Flashbacks – Wrestlemania XII.

Welcome to 1991. This is where Hulkamania still runs wild and where Sgt Slaughter is the WWF champion. Obviously Hogan must no sell his way into the history books against Slaughter but before that we have Warrior against Savage in a retirement match and Jake “the Snake” faces Rick Martel in a blindfold match. Awesome. Old school. Let’s get on with it.

This PPV will be graded on the Furious Grading Scale. FGS grades are as follows –

A One of the greatest matches anywhere, ever.
A- Damn near perfect
B+ Excellent
B Very Good
B- Good
C+ Average
C Mediocre
C- Bad
D Terrible
F Hulk Hogan
U or Ungraded = Hacksaw Jim Duggan v Ultimate Warrior v Goldberg in a submissions only Ironman match. My worst nightmare.

Haku/Barbarian v The Rockers (Shawn Michaels/Marty Jannetty)

Hacksaw Jim Duggan is on commentary with Gorilla Monsoon. Haku and Michaels start out. Michaels tries to use his speed to his advantage. Plenty of leapfrogs and moves that weren’t commonplace in the WWF in 1991. Rockers use a double team hip toss into a double elbow drop and both kip up but Barbarian runs straight through them. The Rockers come back with a double superkicks. Jannetty and Barbarian take over and Jannetty manages a hurracurana with a dropkick assist from Michaels. Big double head butt from the big man team. Jannetty goes for another hurracurana on Haku but they turn it into a hot shot. Barbarian comes in and press slams Jannetty. Jannetty and Haku colide on a crossbody attempt. Ouch. Haku with a big backbreaker on Jannetty and he holds on for a second. Barbarian misses a top rope head butt. Michaels makes a very hot tag and Shawn wails on Haku and hits a crossbody on the Barbarian. Shawn with a neckbreaker on Haku. Shawn gets the sunset flip on Haku thanks to Jannetty. The Rockers go to the double teams. Drop kick into a flying crossbody from Michaels. Match time – 8.47. Match rating – B-. Solid Rockers stuff. Hacksaw is going to be replaced at ringside by Bobby Heenan.

Texas Tornado v Dino Bravo

Tornado can’t get his coat off so Dino takes advantage by beating him with a government mule. Tornado takes control with an atomic drop and goes for the claw but Bravo blocks it. Tornado gets up a head of speed but Bravo side slams him. Bravo comes off the ropes and Tornado slaps him in the claw. Spinning tornado from Tornado. Texas Tornado gets the pin. Match time – 2.47. Match rating – F. Pretty sloppy.

Warlord v British Bulldog

Bulldog manages to knock over the large Warlord (6’ 4”, 320lbs. He’s a horse). Warlord reverses a crucifix into a Samoan drop. Warlord locks in the full nelson but he hasn’t got the fingers locked. Bulldog powers out of it and Warlord is in shock. Bulldog nails the running powerslam for the win. Match time – 2.29. Match rating – F. Warlord is pathetic.

WWF tag titles – Hart Foundation (c) v Nasty Boys

Saggs works over Bret to begin the match. Bret comes back with a Lou Thesz press and right hands. Was Austin watching this? Knobbs comes in and calls for the Anvil. Anvil shoulder charges Knobbs clean out the ring. Anvil gets worked over a little and tags in Bret. Bret hits the 10 count punches on Saggs. Side Russian legsweep which Gorilla calls a neckbreaker. Elbow drop from the second rope. Bret gets double teamed and Saggs clothelines Bret to the floor. Saggs with a backbreaker on Bret. Saggs with a camel clutch. Bret stands up into a neckbreaker. Great. Knobbs comes in and elbows Bret in the back 3 times and goes back to the camel clutch. Bret stands up and back slams him. The Nasties have singled out the Hitman here. The Nasties manage to knock each other out and in comes the Anvil. Anvil with a big powerslam and all 4 men are in. Bret punks out Jimmy Hart and the Nasties collide. Hart Attack on Saggs. Knobbs nails Anvil with the megaphone of Jimmy Hart and the Nasties score the surprise win. Match time – 8.58. Match rating – C+. Only good because Bret was in it.

Jake Roberts v Rick Martel

This is the blindfold match. Roberts cuts an absolutely killer promo about snakes having 6 senses not 5. Awesome. Shame about the match. Neither man can see so Jake uses the crowd’s response to determine where exactly Martel is. When they do find each other Martel irish whips Jake and they both lose each other again. Martel slams Jake when he finds him again and misses an elbow drop. Martel finds the snake bag in the corner and scurries across the ring. Jake falls out to the floor. Back inside Martel hits a backbreaker and goes to the Boston crab. Jake powers out. DDT out of nowhere from Jake but he can’t find him to pin him. Jake finds him and at 6.11 he wins. Match rating – U. Hard to call this a match.

The Undertaker v Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka

Snuka is looking jacked but turns his back on Taker so Taker whales him in the spine. Taker lands a flying clothesline. Snuka reverses a whip but gets a knee in the corner and falls to the floor. Taker suplexes him back in. Snuka misses a big crossbody and lands on the ropes and falls to the floor again. Slingshot crossbody from Snuka but Taker catches him. Tombstone. Match time – 4.23. Match rating – C-. Too short.

Ultimate Warrior v Randy Savage w/Sherri (Career ending match)

Prior to the match Heenan spots Elizabeth in the crowd. Warrior overpowers Savage in the early going. Warrior runs through some basic offence with clotheslines and an atomic drop. Savage works doubly hard with his selling so Warrior can’t get blown up. Savage bails and grabs a chair but the referee takes it away. Warrior misses a splash in the corner and heads to the floor where Sherri hits him in the mouth. Savage comes off the top with a double axehandle. Warrior fights back and pushes Sherri over. Savage comes off with another double axehandle. Warrior gets a two count off a backslide. Warrior starts with his no sell dancing crap but completely misses a shoulder charge. Savage gets a two count. Savage goes to the sleeper. Warrior gets Savage with a small package and gets a long two. Savage sets up Warrior for Sherri to nail him with her shoe but she hits Savage instead. Warrior chases Sherri but gets rolled up for two. Savage hits the over the ropes hot shot on Warrior. Savage heads upstairs and hits his finishing move – the elbow drop, then he goes up and hits it again and again. He hits 5 elbows in all and Warrior kicks out. Warrior with horrible shaky no sell defence. Savage gets levelled with 3 clothelines and Warrior hits the gorilla press slam and splashes Savage in the back. Savage becomes the first man to kick out of Warrior’s finisher. Warrior questions his God’s because his finisher didn’t work. What a sore loser. Blaming his Gods instead of himself. Warrior walks out on the match so Savage knocks him down. Savage puts Warrior over the guard rail and comes off the top rope but Warrior moves out of the way and Savage hits the guard rail. Savage is out on his feet and Warrior delivers a few shoulder blocks and pins the exhausted Savage by standing on his chest. Epic stuff. Match time – 20.46. Match rating – A-. Spiffing.

After the match Sherri puts the boots to Savage and Elizabeth comes down to kick her ass. The crowd goes nuts and Savage and Elizabeth reunite. This was one of those moments. The crowd just eats it up and every and I mean every woman in the crowd is crying. Amazing stuff from the WWF. It’s hard to create emotions like that.

Demolition v Kitao/Tenyru

Tenyru works over Smash with some chops but misses a back elbow drop. Crush comes in and gives him a backbreaker. Smash with a side suplex. They set up a double team in the corner but Kitao comes over and breaks it up. Tenyru with an inziguri and a powerbomb for the win at 3.02. Match rating – C. Short.

IC title – Mr Perfect (c) v Big Boss Man

Perfect starts out selling a slap like a shotgun wound. Boss Man shows the kind of speed and skill that would desert him later in life. Boss Man hits Perfect so hard he knocks him clean over the ropes but Perfect sends him into the steps on the outside. Heenan lays the boots into Boss Man so Andre the Giant comes out to watch out for Boss Man. Perfect exposes the top turnbuckle. Perfect slams Boss Man’s head into the exposed turnbuckle. Perfect goes after Andre and gets knocked out. Boss Man crawls over and gets a long two. Haku and Barbarian run in and we have a DQ at 4.36. Match rating – D.

Earthquake v Greg “The Hammer” Valentine

Earthquake squashes Hammer in the corner. Comes out with a big powerslam. Hammer fights back with some chops and elbows and gets the big man down. Hammer goes for the figure 4 but can’t get it onto the massive legs of Quake. Earthquake hits a big elbow and the huge buttsplash. Match time – 3.16. Match rating – F

Legion Of Doom (Animal/Hawk) v Power and Glory (Paul Roma/Hercules)
Roma with a scoop slam on Animal. Roma gets caught coming off the ropes with the powerslam and they hit the Doomsday Device on 49 seconds for the win. Match rating – U

Ted DiBiase v Virgil

Roddy Piper is in Virgil’s corner. Piper is on crutches because he was in a motorcycle accident. Virgil stings like a butterfly. DiBiase sells like crazy for Virgil’s punches. DiBiase with a gutwrench suplex. DiBiase shoves over the injured Piper at ringside for some cheap heat. DiBiase with a running powerslam on Virgil. Piper pulls DiBiase out of the ring so Ted punks him out as any red blooded man would. DiBiase takes way too long on the outside and gets counted out at 4.51. Match rating – C-.

The Mountie v Tito Santana

They start out with a mid air collision 17 seconds in. Tito slams Mountie into Jimmy Hart on the outside. Tito with an atomic drop. The Mountie tries to run away. Mountie gets the cattle prod and jabs Tito with it. He gets the pin at 1.18. Match rating – F

WWF title – Sgt Slaughter (c) v Hulk Hogan

They start out with a bunch of headlocks and collar and elbow tie ups. The Hulkster’s first big move is a shoulder block and Sarge sells it like a nuclear strike. Sarge bails and Hogan follows only to get cheap shotted with a chair which he no sells. Sarge begs off back in the ring and then cheap shots Hogan again. Hogan pops out of an elbow drop and starts his head shaking crap. Hogan comes out with the power stuff – mostly clotheslines. Atomic drop from Hogan. Hogan rakes the back of Sarge and despite the fact he’s wearing a shirt over his skin he still sells it. Hogan zings Sarge’s head off the ring post and continues the beating with a back body drop. Hogan slingshots Sarge into the ringpost again. Hogan mounts Sarge and pounds him with right hands. Scoop slam from Hogan and a big elbow and another. Hogan heads up top. Adnon holds the leg and Sarge throws him off the turnbuckles. Sarge clotheslines Hogan over the top to the floor. Sarge goes after a chair and nails Hogan in the ass with the steel chair before choking Hogan with some wires/cables at ringside. Sarge contines to work the back (which is where the chair shot was – yeah right). Sarge goes for the Baghdad Crab and Hogan refuses to go for the rope because he wants to power out. Jesus what an egomaniac. Hogan eventually goes for the rope. What a moron. Sarge goes after the back which Hogan has further injured himself. Sarge comes off the top rope and and nails Hogan in the back. Adnon has the ref distracted though and Sarge could have won it. Sarge gets the chair and nails Hogan in the head with it. Very long 2 count on Hogan and the Hulkster is busted open. Sarge slaps on the Camel clutch in an attempt to get the submission. Hulk-a-mania looks to be over but wait Hogan powers out of the camel clutch. Sarge gets the Iraqi flag from ringside and drapes it over Hogan. Hogan gets a bit upset and tears the flag up and here comes the no selling. Big boot. Leg drop and that’s the end of that. 18.39. Match rating – C+. Basic Hogan stuff but at least Sarge worked the back for about 10 minutes.

Best matches –
3. Hart Foundation v The Nasty Boys. Bret Hart was great, shame about everyone else.
2. The Rockers v Haku/Barbarian. Shawn Michaels forces his team into second place.
1. Ultimate Warrior v Randy Savage. A demonstration of how to carry the Warrior by one of the best workers on the WWF roster.

Overall PPV rating –
C. One great match, a hot opening tag match and tonnes and tonnes of filler. 6 matches in total failed to get a grade at all. Clip those out and you’ve got a half decent show.