Repost - WWF Wrestlemania 15

The Furious Flashbacks – Wrestlemania 15

Everyone bought this PPV for Undertaker-Bossman Hell in a Cell. No, wait I think it was Mankind v Big Show to determine the referee in the main event. I’m completely out of it of course. The match everyone bought this show for was Steve Austin v The Rock. First time ever for the WWF title after Rock had established himself as a main event heel. Austin was aiming to win the WWF title at his second consecutive Wrestlemania.

This PPV will be graded according to the Furious Grading Scale. FGS grades are as follows -

A One of the greatest matches anywhere, ever.
A- Damn near perfect
B+ Excellent
B Very Good
B- Good
C+ Average
C Mediocre
C- Bad
D Terrible
F Hulk Hogan
U or Ungraded = Hacksaw Jim Duggan v Ultimate Warrior v Goldberg in a submissions only Ironman match. My worst nightmare.

Boyz 2 Men sing America the Beautiful. Joy. Every time I’ve seen it I fast forwarded it. The WWF demonstrates it’s ability to do video packages with a “through the ages” package voiced by Classy Freddie Blassie. Michael Cole and the King welcome us to the Grandaddy of them all – Wrestlemania. Cole is covering for JR when he had his problems.

Hardcore title – Billy Gunn (c) v Hardcore Holly v Al Snow

How did Billy win the belt? I can’t remember. I see a lot of ECW fans in the crowd. Well we are in Philadelphia. They spill outside early and Billy takes the stairs knees first. Holly suplexes Snow on the floor. Snow pulls out a hockey stick and we have a chant of “let’s go Flyers”. Snow dumps a case of gatorade on Holly. Billy breaks the hockey stick over Holly’s back. Snow pulls some funky martial arts moves with a broom handle to my amusement. Snow sets up a chair and hits air Sabu to a chant of “ECW”. He misses a second attempt and Billy takes over with a gorilla press on Holly. Snow waffles both men with Head and gets a “Head” chant going. Snow goes under the ring and pulls out a table. Gunn steps in and chairs both Holly and Snow with 2 stiff chair shots. He puts a chair in the ring and hits a FameAsser on Snow. Holly hits Gunn with a chair and then pins Snow. What? It’s over at 7.01 and they didn’t use the table. Match rating – D. Nothing really to speak of match-wise.

WWF tag titles – Owen Hart/Jeff Jarrett (c) v D’Lo Brown/Test

D’Lo and Test won a rumble earlier in the night to win the tag title shot. That’s how many good tag teams were around. They aren’t even a team. Owen and Jarrett, despite being heels, are far more over than the challengers. Debra accompanies the champs. Test hits his finisher (big boot) 15 seconds into the match on Owen but no one notices. Test with a gutwrench powerbomb on Owen for a 2 count. Owen comes back with an inziguri and he goes for a sharpshooter but D’Lo breaks it up. D’Lo tells Owen that he sucks. Owen disproves that with a lovely spinning heel kick. Jarrett tags in and D’Lo reverses him into a Sky High from a leap frog. The ref seems the miss that completely and Terri is at ringside for some reason and she distracts the ref while Owen hits a top rope dropkick on D’Lo. Jarrett rolls him up and it’s over at 3.57. Match rating – D. Not good. Should have gone at least another 10 minutes considering the talent.

Brawl for All – Butterbean v Bart “The Hammer” Gunn

Bart just won the Brawl For All in a fixed final because he knocked out Steve Williams and ruined his push. Gorilla Monsoon is one of the judges and gets a massive pop. This match (like most of the Brawl for All) is real. In other words – no planned finish. It’s a fight. Bart gets knocked down on 16 seconds and has trouble getting back up. At about 30 seconds Butterbean hits Bart so hard he drops him cold. The bell rings at 47 seconds. This is over and this is uglier than a bowling shoe. Match rating – F. As this was a shoot I won’t give it a “U”.

The world famous San Diego chicken comes out and dances with Vinny Pazienca who was reffing the Brawl and Vinny knocks his ass out.

Match to determine the referee in the main event – Mankind v “The Big Show” Paul Wight

Foley is so over. The crowd chant “Foley” as Mick throws a few clotheslines but Show no sells everything. Mick goes for a double arm DDT on the floor but Show pushes him into the ring steps. Mick lands on the back of his head. Back in the ring Show hits a russian legsweep. A wrestling move? Yeah, you heard me right. Mick pulls out Mr Socko. Business is about to pick up. Mandible claw in the ring but Show just fights out. Mandible claw again and a low blow and Mick climbs on Show’s back to get additional leverage but Show just drops backwards. Ouch. That must have broken something inside. Show goes for a chair and waffles Mick in the ribs and the back with chair shots. Show sets up a couple of chairs in the ring and chokeslams Mick on them. The ref calls it a DQ at 6.50. Match rating – C-. I only gave Mick some points for his bumps. Foley will ref the main event. Vince comes out and badmouths Show for screwing up the main event. Show slaps him silly and Vince is out.

In the back Vince orders the arrest of the Big Show. This was the beginning of crap for the WWF. Vince, because he was so over in 1998, thought he could pull this crap on every show. Wrong. Cue boredom.

IC title – Road Dogg (c) v Val Venis v Goldust w/Ryan Shamrock/Blue Meanie v Ken Shamrock

Early hurracurana on Goldie from Shamrock. I see another ECW regular in the crowd ordering Shamrock to “fuck the Roadie up”. Sweet. Road Dogg hits a drop kick on Shamrock and tags out. Val tags in also and Goldust hits a release suplex. Goldie goes for the curtain call but Val gets out and hits a spinebuster. Goldust messes up a superplex so Val bulldogs him from the ropes. Val with a fisherman suplex for a 2 count. Shamrock hits a DDT on Goldust so Road Dogg comes in and DDT’s Val. Goldie gets up first and gets a 2 count on Val. Road Dogg tags in and peppers Val with the shaky punches. Goldie comes in and Road Dogg cleans house. Road Dogg with a pumphandle slam on Val but Shamrock blindsides him. Ankle Lock on Val but he makes the ropes. Val back drops Shamrock to the floor and Ken’s “sister” Ryan comes over to distract Shammy. Val and Shamrock fight up the aisleway and both get counted out at 8.23. Road Dogg and Goldie are left. Shamrock snaps and belly to belly’s both the remaining guys. Ryan trips Goldie ‘by mistake’. Road Dogg hits the roll up for the belt at 9.48. match rating – C+. Very average stuff. Nothing fun anywhere to be found.

Show is being hauled off by the cops outside. He makes a few cracks about donuts and so forth. Bye, bye.

Triple H v Kane

Kane is in the Corporation and Chyna is helping him. Trips is the leader of DX and Chyna stabbed him in the back a few weeks ago. Kane is jumped by the San Diego chicken and it’s Pete Rose. Tombstone. Night Pete. Trips sneaks in through the crowd and hits a low blow. Trips backdrops Kane out of the ring but lands on his feet. Trips throws Kane into the ring steps and Kane has a bad arm. Trips works a few dropkicks on Kane but Kane’s selling is so bad it’s hard to watch. Kane goes to chokeslam Trips on the outside but dumps Trips onto the guard rail. The Mean Street Posse is at ringside and Kane shoves Trips right into them. Kane runs through some plodding offence including a glory leg drop which gets a two count. Kane hits an ugly pescado. Kane climbs the buckles and Trips hits an arm drag of sorts off the top. Kane lumbers through some awful selling so Trips hits his facebuster and it doesn’t put him down. Trips is in control and out comes Chyna. Kane goes for a tombstone but Trips gets out and goes for a pedigree which Kane powers out of. Chyna dumps some steel ring steps into the ring. Kane goes to use them so Trips hits a leg lift and then a drop toe hold onto the steps. Trips goes for a pedigree on the ring steps but Kane backdrops out. Kane hits a chokeslam and Chyna comes in with a chair but hits Kane for the DQ at 11.33. Match rating – C+. Chyna and Trips hug after the match and Trips pedigrees Kane on a chair. Huge pops because they think Chyna has gone back face. Ah. It won’t last.

Vince McMahon announces in comic book caricature mode that he will referee the main event. That’s right – steal the spotlight Vince. Ruin another match.

WWF Women’s title – Sable (c) v Tori

Sable just appeared in Playboy. Nice photo shoot incidentally. She may have sucked as a wrestler but she was hot. “This is for the women who want to be me and the men who come to see me”. Sable is half heel by this point because her ego is so massive she’s about to quit and go solo. Tori comes out to a Joe Satriani tune butchered for intro purposes. This is like watching some late night movie with “Amazon” in the title somewhere. Highlight of the match is Sable doing the Grind. Tori screws up a simple bridge into a backslide. Tori knocks the ref out and out comes ‘Man Beast’ Nicole Bass. Bass press slams Tori. Any chance of an explaination? No? Sablebomb on Tori for the 3 at 5.05. Match rating – U.

WWF European title – Shane McMahon (c) v X-Pac

X-Pac cuts a promo with all of DX (with Chyna) but Trips does most of the talking because he’s far more over. Shane is accompanied by Test and he has the Mean Street Posse at ringside. Brisco and Patterson kick X-Pac’s ass at ringside before the match. Hehe. Shane does a crane and bails. Awesome. Back into the ring and X-Pac hits a heel kick. Test pulls Shane out to avoid a Bronco Buster. On the outside Test crotches X-Pac. Shane slaps X-Pac around a bit but misses a People’s elbow. Shane takes a belt to X-Pac Hogan style. Shane gets backdropped out the ring and X-Pac hits a pescado. The Mean Street Posse intervene battering X-Pac from behind. X-Pac decks Pete Gas so Test levels him with a clothesline. Shane goes up top and X-Pac drop kicks him for the crotch. Superplex from X-Pac but Test pulls out X-Pac. Test misses a move outside and injures himself. X-Pac takes the belt and straps Shane. Bronco Buster from X-Pac. Test comes in and waffles X-Pac with the European title but Shane doesn’t get the pin. Shane goes for his Bronco Buster but misses. Test comes in again so X-Pac clocks him with a spin kick and out comes Triple H. Bronco Buster on Test. Trips pulls out Test while X-Pac hits the X-Factor on Shane. Trips hits the pedigree on X-Pac and the crowd goes nuts. Shane pins X-Pac for the 3 count at 8.40. Match rating – C+. Lots of interference but signs of Shane’s ability. It was the start of the Triple H heel run that put him on course for greatness though.

Hell in a Cell – Undertaker v Big Bossman

This is the Corporation (a heel stable lead by Vince McMahon) against the Ministry (a heel stable lead by the Undertaker). Does this sound boring? That’s because it was. Bossman is Vince’s shining knight in this match. Taker at least comes out to his coolest ever music (yeah even Limp Bizkit) which is a nastier version of his classic music. Taker gets caught with an early neckbreaker. Taker sits up to absolutely zero heat. Taker sort of chokeslams Bossman into the cell wall. Bossman has produced handcuffs from somewhere and he cuffs Taker to the cell. Bossman takes a nightstick to Taker and the cuffs have broken already. The crowd is chanting “boring” already. Taker is busted open. Taker whips Bossman into the cell and grabs a chair which he uses to nail Bossman in the spine with. Taker javelins Bossman into the cell in a moment that briefly reminds me of Bad Blood until Bossman’s selling kicks in. Back into the ring with a flying clothesline. Top rope walk of doom but Taker gets crotched. The crowd is booing but it’s hard to tell what. The booing actually becomes more of a constant than the match. Bossman reverses a tombstone but Taker hits it the second time for the win at 9.47 and luckily the WWF pipes in enough music to drown out the very, very loud boos. Match rating – F. Absolutely awful from start to finish. Edge, Christian and Gangrel drop out of the ceiling and hang Bossman from the cell after the match. Hey, those guys were over. No chance of a match for them then? No, guess not. Bossman should be dead but hey wrestling is fake right?

Michael Cole makes way for good old JR before the main event because Cole sucks too much to work the main event. The crowd give JR a nice pop. Maybe they were just happy to see Cole leave as he’s left his indelible crap mark on this show.

WWF title – The Rock (c) v Steve Austin

Vince is going to ref the match but out comes WWF commish Shawn Michaels who gets the biggest pop of the night and removes Vince from the match and bars the Corporation from ringside. “Start the stepping and hit the bricks McMahon”. Michaels is so over even a year after he retired.

Rock talks trash to Austin so Austin smacks him about a bit. They spill out of the ring and straight into the crowd. This match is no DQ thanks to Vince so both take advantage of that outside. Austin goes for a piledriver outside but Rock backdrops him into a lighting rig which Austin clocks hard with his knee. Rock reverses a suplex outside and nails a suplex on Austin on the concrete. Austin dumps Rock onto the Spanish announce table and Austin drives an elbow. The table doesn’t break so Austin goes up a second time and hits the elbow and breaks the table. Rock fights back and wraps Austin’s knee around the ringpost. Austin puts Rock into the ring steps. Back inside Rock hits a Rock Bottom but Austin kicks out. Rock brings in a chair and the ref gets nailed with the chair. Rock with a neckbreaker and he’s working the bad neck of Austin. Chair shots to the knees of Austin. Work those injured body parts. Rock gets another two count. Rock goes to a sleeper because he’s run out of ideas. Austin fights out but catches a Samoan drop for another 2 count. Referee Timmy White upsets the Rock with his slow count and gets a rock bottom but Rock catches a stunner. Hebner comes running down but only counts to 2 and Rock kicks out to the People’s Displeasure. Out comes Vince. Rock hits a low blow and Vince comes in. Rock and Vince give Austin a shoeing while the crowd chants for “HBK”. Foley comes out and removes Vince from the equation. Austin scores a 2 count from a roll up. Lou Thesz press and right hands. Rock hits the Rock Bottom and Rock goes for the People’s Elbow instead of covering. Rock misses the elbow. Rock goes for another Rock Bottom but Austin counters, misses his gut kick completely and hits the stunner for the win at 16.52. Match rating – B-. Decent main event but a little too overdone in terms of run in’s and ref bumps and a little low on actual match.

Best matches –
3. Shane McMahon v X-Pac. Reasonable and showed the gifts Shane had been blessed with but loaded with pointless run in’s and Triple H’s big heel turn.
2. Kane v Triple H. Actually one of the worst matches I’ve ever seen Triple H wrestle.
1. Steve Austin v The Rock. It helped that it was the longest match but it was loaded with extra caricular stuff instead of match psychology. Looked really lazy and that was the best match.

Overall PPV rating –
D. Just appalling. Even the main event was a little short on actual wrestling action. Possibly the worst Wrestlemania of all time.