Repost - WWF Royal Rumble 97

The Furious Flashbacks – Royal Rumble 1997.

Welcome to 1997. Stonecold is the Texas Rattlesnake but he’s still a heel. Sid is the WWF champion and Shawn Michaels is challenging him in an attempt to upstage their previous match at Survivor Series 96. The WWF was a little short on talent so they draft some extra talent in from Mexico to make up the card. Without further ado we’ll see how Shawn looked before he lost his smile.

This PPV will be graded on the Furious Grading Scale. FGS grades are as follows –

A One of the greatest matches anywhere, ever.
A- Damn near perfect
B+ Excellent
B Very Good
B- Good
C+ Average
C Mediocre
C- Bad
D Terrible
F Hulk Hogan
U or Ungraded = Hacksaw Jim Duggan v Ultimate Warrior v Goldberg in a submissions only Ironman match. My worst nightmare.

The WWF puts Shawn over for putting people before the title and he’s returning to his home town of San Antonio. I wonder who’s going over in the main event. Vince McMahon welcomes us to the Rumble in the Alamodome. Remember the Alamo? JR and the King are with Vince. Well at least there’s some strong support for Vince’s lame ass commentary.

IC title – Triple H (c) w/Mr Hughes v Goldust w/Marlena

Goldust had sort of shook off his gay image and become a fan favourite at this point. Triple H is convinced that all women are infatuated with him apparently. I don’t even remember this angle which should suggest how entertaining it was. Triple H used to have the coolest music (it’s the same music they use on Die Hard). Goldust doesn’t wait for the bell and attacks Triple H out on the floor. Triple H goes for an early Pedigree but Goldust throws him out of it and Triple H goes all the way down to the floor. Earl Hebner lets Goldust punk out Triple H with the ring steps. The fight keeps spilling to the outside and Triple H has picked up a knee injury by missing a charge into the security railing. Goldust takes advantage with the ringsteps. Goldust takes it back inside and works the knee using a figure 4 leglock. Goldust continues his psychological advantage by working over the knee on the floor with a chop block and a shin breaker onto the ringsteps. Triple H actually sells the leg like he sold the quad tear in early 2001. Triple H topples over while doing his taunt because of his bad wheel. Psychology rules. Triple H injures his own knee by dropping a knee. Fabulous psychology. Goldust misses an elbow from the top rope and Hughes tosses the IC belt to Triple H. Triple H kisses Marlena and Goldust snags the belt and waffles Triple H with it but only gets a two count before Hughes pulls Triple H out. Triple H sneaks back in to Pearl Harbour Goldust and Pedigree him for the win. Match time – 17.12. Match rating – B. Actually far better than I remember it and Triple H was good before I remember him being good.

Faarooq w/Crush/PG-13 and 9 other guys v Ahmed Johnson

This is a bit of a slobberknocker but Faarooq goes after the injured kidneys of Ahmed. Ahmed gets a belt from somewhere and whips Faarooq like a government mule. Faarooq throws a very young D’Lo Brown into the path of Ahmed who knocks him down easily. Faarooq slams Ahmed kidneys first into a chair he set up on the floor and then waffles Ahmed with the chair. Faarooq sets Ahmed up on the top turnbuckle and kicks him square in the kidneys. Nice. Faarooq spends a couple of minutes using the Camel Clutch but Ahmed powers out of it. Faarooq heads upstairs and Ahmed nails the powerslam from the top. Faarooq fights back with a spinebuster and Ahmed is down again. Faarooq spends too long taunting though and Ahmed gets back up with a spinebuster of his own. He signals for the Pearl River Plunge and the Nation of Domination floods into the ring. The referee calls for the bell and Ahmed wins it on DQ. Match time – 8.49. Match rating – C. Although Faarooq showed solid psychology the match was way too slow and ended in a schmoz.

To show he’s hardcore Ahmed puts a Nation member through a table at ringside with a Pearl River Plunge off the ringsteps. The French announce team just lost their table. Backstage Faarooq calls Ahmed Johnson an “Uncle Tom”.

Vader v Undertaker

This is a complete slobberknocker. Taker doesn’t sell any of Vader’s offence and Vader looks worried. Taker seems to have the upper hand when it comes to offence as well as he scores a scoop slam and a leg drop for a two count. Taker misses a Top Rope Walk of Doom as Vader pulls him onto the ropes. Vader goes downstairs deliberately to gain an advantage. Vader follows up with an avalanche. Vader goes into a nerve hold to take control of the match completely. Taker side suplexes Vader out of it though and both men are down. Vader assends the turnbuckles and Taker slams him from mid air. Taker manages to walk straight into a powerbomb and Vader gets a two count. Taker nails the Top Rope Walk of Doom the second time around. Paul Bearer makes his way out. In the ring Taker chokeslams Vader. Taker leaves the ring and punk out Bearer. Taker sets Vader up on the security railing and Taker gets a run up. Bearer pulls Vader out of the way and Taker nails nothing but steel. Bearer assaults Taker with the urn and Vader heads up for the Vaderbomb. Match time – 13.24. Vader leaves with Paul Bearer. Match rating – C-. Very long match for a big man scrap.

British Bulldog tells the cameras backstage that he’ll win tonight because he’s bizarre. Way to go Davey you made yourself sound like a total moron.

Fuerza Guerrera/Heavy Metal/Jerry Estrada v Perro Aguayo/Hector Garza/El Canek

A bunch of stars from AAA in Mexico were signed for this show because it’s so close to Mexico here in San Antonio. Sadly they signed these 6. Most of these guys are passed it and the rest aren’t that good. Not that I like lucha libre anyway. Vince doesn’t even know who any of these guys are. JR takes over on commentary and the crowd goes to sleep. Lots of tags and arm drags. Jerry Estrada gets backdropped over the top rope and Aguayo fakes a pescado. Chicken. Guerrera misses a leg drop from the top and Canek hits a crappy looking crossbody from the top. Heavy Metal hits Garza with a spinning heel kick and then hits a back elbow. Crowd just doesn’t care though. I’ve never heard the crowd so quiet at a PPV. I just heard a pin drop up in the second deck. Canek manages 30 seconds of solid arm drags and drop kicks. Apparently that’s over in Mexico. Aguayo fakes a pescado again. That would be cool if someone else was actually doing them. Perro Aguayo promptly fakes a pescado again and I’m tempted to just fast forward the rest of the match. Garza hits a corkscrew something to the floor on Heavy Metal. That was was enough for a WWF contract shame he did nothing else. Aguayo hits a double stomp from the top rope on Heavy Metal and the match is over. Match time – 10.32ish. I forgot to reset the timer and couldn’t be bothered to go back. Match rating – F. Appalling lucha crap.

Royal Rumble match

Number 1 is Crush (Brian Adams). Number 2 is Ahmed Johnson. Crush continues to work the back of Ahmed. No 3 is Da Bad Guy Razor Ramon except it’s after Scott Hall left so it’s Big Titan in the costume but it doesn’t matter because Ahmed dumps him right away. Ahmed spots Faarooq and eliminates himself to chase Faarooq. Ahmed is such a moron. No 4 is Phinneas Godwinn (Mideon). No 5 is Stonecold Steve Austin and business is about to pick up.

Austin actually gets worked over by Phinneas and gets saved by Crush. Shocking booking. Austin returns the favour by nailing Crush and Phinneas throws Crush out. Austin stunners Phinneas and dumps him. No 6 is Bart Gunn before he was a boxer. Bart botches a rocker dropper and then screws up his exit so Austin belts him with a huge clothesline over the ropes. Bye Bart. Austin sits on the top turnbuckle and checks his watch. No 7 is Jake “The Snake” Roberts. Jake is in his 6th (and final) Royal Rumble. No 8 is British Bulldog. Austin dumps Jake while Bulldog is coming out. Bulldog hits his running powerslam on Austin. He can’t get Austin up to get him out though. No 9 is Piroth (champion of champions from AAA). Piroth goes to pin Bulldog because he’s a Mexican idiot. No 10 is The Sultan (Rikishi in his former guise).

Bulldog nearly puts Austin out but Austin rolls back in. No 11 is Mil Mascaras. He’s a legend but a real moron. Mascaras is actually over with the Texas fans. The pace slows down a bit as the ring fills up. No 12 is Triple H and he’s still selling the knee injury. Yes, psychology does indeed rule. Bulldog dumps the Sultan. Austin and Triple H start to mix it up. No 13 is Owen Hart. Owen’s music was so cool. Owen and Austin go at it and you wouldn’t see that a year later. Bulldog saves Owen from Austin. Owen returns the favour by eliminating Bulldog. “By mistake” according to Owen. Bulldog is pissed off. No 14 is Goldust. Austin goes straight after Goldust. No 15 is Cibernetico. He’s only 20 and the youngest in the Rumble.

Triple H and Goldust have renewed their rivalry. Owen stamps on Austin shouting “that’s for the British Bulldog”. Classic Owen. No 16 is Marc Mero with Sable. Cibernetico and Piroth are both dumped and Mil Mascaras leaps from the top turnbuckle to eliminate himself. Those wacky Mexicans. Goldust puts out Triple H as a receipt for the loss earlier. No 17 is Latin Lover. All these Mexicans are from AAA. WWF was real short on talent in 1997. LL superkicks Owen. Owen skins the cat to get back in from Goldust putting him over. Owen comes back to dump Goldust. No 18 is Faarooq. Faarooq back drops Latin Lover out. Austin and Faarooq start wailing on each other and the crowd loves it. Ahmed does a run in and dumps Faarooq with a 2x4. Meanwhile Austin dumps Owen and Mero. Austin is on his own again. No 19 is Savio Vega. Austin and Vega have a history and a recent feud and light up the ring while they have the chance. Austin dumps Savio in double quick time however and Austin waves for someone new to come out. No 20 is Double J Jesse Jammes. Or the Road Dogg to you and me.

Austin dumps Road Dogg and is on his own again. Austin, like Flair, is getting over with the crowd as the match goes on. Austin gets ready on the top turnbuckle and no 21 is Bret Hart. Austin’s reaction is panic and then confidence. Great reactions from Austin. Bret and Austin get it on and the crowd goes nuts for the action. Shame they only get a minute and half and Bret slaps Austin in the sharpshooter. Jerry Lawler is No 22. Bret breaks the sharpshooter and dumps Lawler with one punch. Lawler sits down and finishes his sentence on commentary. Lawler’s selling of being dumped in about 5 seconds is hilarious. Bret and Austin get another 90 seconds of action in. No 23 is Diesel except it’s after Kevin Nash left so we have someone who can actually work. It’s Glenn Jacobs or Kane as many now know him. Jacobs does Nash better than Nash does. Bret takes a front turnbuckle and out comes Terry Funk – No 24. Austin and Funk battle it out and this is great stuff. Austin nearly dumps Funk but Terry gets back in and assaults Bret. Funk with a messy piledriver on Bret. No 25 is the rookie Rocky Maivia. Or the Rock as he’s now known and he goes straight for Steve Austin.

No 26 is Mankind (aka Mick Foley). We’ve got Bret Hart, The Rock, Austin, Mick Foley and Terry Funk out there. Cool. Funk and Mankind fight it out. Austin and Bret are going at it again and that’s worth watching alone. No 27 is Flash Funk (Too Cold Scorpio). Bret piledrives Austin (you’d never see that in 1998). Flash gets funky on the ropes and crossbodies Rock and Diesel. Foley and Rock are double teaming Funk. Bizarre. No 28 is Vader. Vader goes right after Bret. Lawler is still selling the fact he got eliminated but can’t remember being in there. No 29 is Henry O Godwinn. No 30 is the Undertaker and we have everyone that’s going to turn up for this thing.

Taker goes after Vader and Mankind. Taker gives chokeslams to Austin and Vader. Austin and Bret go at it again. Rock and Taker mix it up. Vader dumps Flash Funk with a fall away slam without the fall away. Sweet. Rock nearly puts Bret out but Austin stops him because he wants to put Bret out himself. Taker dumps Henry Godwinn. Good. Mankind gets the Mandible claw on the Rock and dumps him. Mankind suplexes Funk out of the ring but doesn’t get back in because Taker dumps him with a big boot. Mankind and Funk fight on the outside and the officials are distracted. Bret dumps Austin to a MASSIVE pop but the refs didn’t see it. Austin dumps Vader and Undertaker at the same time while Bret eliminates Diesel on the other side. Bret thinks he’s won it but Austin sneaks up on him and dumps him out. The referees declare Austin the winner despite the fact that he didn’t win it. Match time 50.30. Match rating – B. Austin and Bret made the Rumble entertaining. Bret has a pop at Vince McMahon on the way out shouting “what is this shit?” 11 months later he’d have a similar question I’m sure.

WWF title – Sycho Sid (c) v Shawn Michaels w/Jose Lothario

Shawn Michaels has flu coming into this match which explains why he looks like crap in a backstage interview. Michaels gets a pop that nearly takes the roof off the Alamodome. Sid starts out just using raw power to keep Shawn at bay while Shawn uses his speed and agility to send Sid to the floor. Sid goes to slam Michaels on the floor but Shawn uses a rake of the eyes to save himself. Sid goes to the camel clutch after 2.30 on my clock. Lazy. After a long rest Shawn takes a Flair bump to the floor while some kid in the front row is screaming “Oh My God” in the style of Joey. Sid ramps Michaels back into the ring post a couple of times. Sid goes to a reverse chinlock. Shawn fights out and Sid nearly takes his head off with a huge clothesline. Sid goes to a bearhug. Although it’s boring Sid’s offence does have a purpose and he’s working the back. Sid gets a long two after a big leg drop and goes straight into a reverse chinlock. Shawn fights back with a scoopslam and a flying forearm. Shawn with an elbow from the top rope. Shawn calls for the superkick but Sid catches it and dumps Shawn over the ropes. Sid powerbombs Shawn on the floor and if he hadn’t protected Shawn he could have killed him. Earl Hebner takes a ref bump and Sid has it won with a chokeslam. Rough break for Sid. Another ref comes out and Sid waffles him with a right hand for not being the right official. Shawn grabs a TV camera and knocks Sid out with it as a receipt for Survivor Series 96 when Sid did the same to Shawn. But Sid kicks out at 2 and a half. Shawn levels Sid with the superkick and Shawn gets the pinfall and the WWF title. Match time – 13.52. Match rating – B-. Not good for Shawn but he had the flu so what can you do. He still carried Sid to a decent match and you’d have to wonder how good it would have been if Shawn was 100%.

Best matches –
3. Shawn Michaels v Sid. Disappointing but considering Michaels was sick it could have really sucked. Sid’s offence is incredibly dull for less than 15 minutes though.
2. Triple H v Goldust. Amazing to see how far Triple H has come but here’s some evidence of the promise he was showing back in 1997.
1. Royal Rumble. Hot in places and it was great to watch Austin and Bret Hart going at it. Foley and Funk were good in supporting roles.

Overall PPV rating –
B-. Not as bad as I remember it and most of the matches at least had some entertaining psychology. The lucha match was abysmal though and the main event disappointing.