Repost - ECW November to Remember 98

The Furious Flashbacks – ECW November To Remember 1998.

As ECW scored so highly in their first offering in these flashbacks I thought I’d go for another ECW PPV from 1998 – their annual November to Remember. For this PPV Taz had allied himself with RVD and Sabu for the first time since those 2 men double crossed Taz in 1997. The reason for this alliance – the Triple Threat of Shane Douglas, Bam Bam Bigelow and Chris Candido. Read on…

This PPV will be graded on the Furious Grading Scale. FGS grades are as follows –

A One of the greatest matches anywhere, ever.
A- Damn near perfect
B+ Excellent
B Very Good
B- Good
C+ Average
C Mediocre
C- Bad
D Terrible
F Hulk Hogan
U or Ungraded = Hacksaw Jim Duggan v Ultimate Warrior v Goldberg in a submissions only Ironman match. My worst nightmare.

Some tool interviews Jack Victory and Lance Wright in the parking lot but New Jack assaults Jack Victory while calling him a bitch. ECW security drag New Jack away. Segment rating – C+. Sweary.

We’re in New Orleans, Louisiana. N2R is supposed to be ECW’s Wrestlemania but in reality that means more violence and less wrestling. While Joey is talking about Taz and RVD in his introduction Terry Funk appears up near the roof and starts to climb down while the crowd chant “Terry”. “Terry is that you?” – Joey Styles. Terry has his professor of Funk U hat on. “I am very knowledgable at anti-social behaviour” – Funk. Funk claims no one invited him to Louisiana so “Funk U Tommy Dreamer you stinking filthy pile of shit”. He calls Dreamer’s daddy a crackhead and his mother a whore. Dreamer comes out to face Funk. Funk continues to abuse Dreamer and throws the mic at him. Segement rating – B-. Terry Funk outswears New Jack shocker.

The Blue Meanie/Super Nova v Danny Doring/Road Kill

This is back when Nova was fat and Road Kill said more than “chickens”. Doring upsets Nova so Nova takes his gloves off. We’re about 2 moves into the match and out comes Terry Funk again with his own cameraman. Nova nails an x-factor on Doring. The cameras are ignoring the match and focusing on Funk. Funk assaults Steven DeAngelis and takes over as timekeeper. “He’s a poor excuse for a wrestler. He never would have made it in the school of hard knocks” – Funk about Meanie. Meanie with a big neckbreaker on Road Kill. Nova and Meanie double power bomb Doring. Doring and Road Kill argue about the miscommunications. Nova dives through the ropes onto the opposition on the floor. Meanie nails his People’s Legdrop. Funk gets up on the apron and slaps the Meanie. Meanie nails Funk and Funk fails the break the table on the way down. He’s so upset he gets back up and puts himself through a table. Funk breaks off a section of table. I’ve just noticed the referees shirts are horrible. White with bits of purple and yellow. Urgh. Road Kill mounts the top turnbuckle for a big Amish splash on Nova. Doring with the G-spot sweep on Nova. Nova comes back with a Sledge-o-matic. Hard to explain what that is – powerbomb into an elbow drop. Sort of. Nova and Meanie hit their top rope moves on Doring and it should have been over but Road Kill saves. Blue Light special on Doring (inverted powerbomb with a DDT – sweet) and it’s over. Nova and Meanie win. Funk levels the blue boys with a piece of table. Paul Heyman tries to convince Funk to leave before Terry double leg’s a security guard. Match rating – C. Nova and Doring get better than this. Funk was far too distracting.

Tracey Smothers v Tommy Rogers

Smothers is accompanied by FBI members Little Guido, the big Don Tommy Rich and new member Ulf Hermann who’s quite blatantly German. Rogers is accompanied by Chris Chetti. Rogers cuts the worst promo I’ve ever heard outside of Chyna interviews. Smothers is pretty washed up at this point in time. Hermann interferes with a trip on Rogers. Smothers spends more time taunting than RVD. Hermann interferes again as the referee is distracted. Chetti makes a point of slamming his head into the ringpost to make amends and beats him back to the locker room. Guido hits an Italian legsweep as the ref is distracted yet again. Rogers is being permanentally outnumbered. The FBI do nail the Pisan double elbow drop which is possibly the least heterosexual move in all of wrestling. When Rogers does make his comeback he dropkicks all 3 FBI members in sequence. Rogers nails the Tommy-Kaze which is the Unprettier that Christian uses. Rogers invented it. Rogers gets the fall. Match rating – D. Well it was Smothers but it was 4 on 1 most of the match. Not good. Smothers jerky 80’s selling got annoying after 5 seconds.

Chris Chetti v Tommy Rich

Although I’m sure this wasn’t an official match it did have some excellent Chetti top rope stuff before a double flip moonsault on Rich. Rogers counts the 3. Match rating – D.

Ulf Hermann/Mabel v Little Spike Dudley

Hermann and Mabel assault Chetti and Rogers and out comes the giantkiller Spike Dudley. Spike gets battered by two huge men. Mabel splashes himself through a table after missing Spike. Spike nails Hermann with the Acid Drop. Mabel misses a splash on Spike and squashes Hermann. Spike gives Mabel the Acid Drop as well. Winner – Spike Dudley. Match rating – F. Ok, Spike can beat two big men. So what.

Lance Storm w/Tammy Lynn Bytch (aka Dawn Marie) v Jerry Lynn

There are two special referees for this match – Mikey Whipwreck and Tammy Lynn Sytch aka Sunny. Even before this match has started I know Tammy will attempt to ruin it being that she’s a crack whore. Lynn and Storm start out with some sweet counter wrestling. Tammy annoys me. I missed most of the first five minutes commentary wise but the counter wrestling was nothing short of a joy to behold. Safe to say both men are among my favourite technicians of all time. Tammy takes so long to get down she messes up the near fall sequence that Storm and Lynn pull off with unbelievable ease. Tammy asks Lance Storm if he gives up in the stupidiest holds. It’s driving me crazy. Lynn goes through the ropes and takes Storm over on the floor with a flying headscissors. Rolling shoulder block from Lynn. Bytch scratches Lynn’s back. Storm shows off his agility with a springboard clothesline. Tammy’s voice is starting to grate. Lynn uses a tilt-a-whirl-flying headscissors. Bytch interferes again and Tammy warns her “one more time and he’s outta here”. Lance Storm clears the ropes and wipes out Lynn on the floor. Lynn counters a powerbomb but walks into a version of Jeff Jarrett’s Stroke. Storm puts Lynn into the Mexican surfboard. Storm hits Lynn with a nice dropkick. Tammy’s counts on Storm are getting faster and faster. Storm superkicks Lynn and gets the slowest count ever. Lynn does a beautiful counter into a suplex. Lynn counters a hurracurrana into a powerbomb. Lynn bridges out of a cover and nails Storm with a pedigree for a 2 count. Storm gets dropkicked off the top rope to the floor. Lynn nails his plancha to the floor. Storm connects with a belly to back superplex on Lynn. Bytch upsets Tammy again and they have a short bitch fight. Mikey breaks it up only to be slapped by Bytch so obviously Bytch gets the Whippersnapper. Lynn saves Tammy from the same fate and Lynn gets a Whippersnapper. Tammy still doesn’t count to three on the fallen Lynn. Tammy gives Storm the Whippersnapper. Mikey gives Tammy the Whippersnapper and counts Jerry Lynn down for the three. Match rating – B-. Tammy just broke up the whole rhythm of the match before she got nailed by Mikey Whipwreck. Mikey is my personal hero.

Terry Funk apologies to “the people of the United States for making a terrible, terrible ass of myself”. He then tells Joey that he’s going home forever. Terry Funk has left the building.

The Dudley Boys v Balls Mahoney/Masato Tanaka (ECW tag titles)

Tonight Joel Gertner is “hotter than tabasco sauce but loads easier to swallow”. Balls and Tanaka are accompanied by Axl Rotten. The Dudleys assault Tanaka’s head as he suffered head trauma a few weeks ago. Crowd break out a nice “Dudleys suck dick” chant. D-Von narrowily misses the People’s Headbutt. Balls gets the tag who comes straight in with a forg splash which Buh Buh breaks up. The faces backdrop D-Von onto Buh Buh, who’s on the floor. Tanaka follows them over with a pescado. Buh Buh Ray gets back in the ring and jumps over the top rope onto everyone on the floor. Joey breaks out his “Oh My God”. Tanaka with a running chair shot on Buh Buh. ROARING ELBOW on Buh Buh Ray. ROARING ELBOW on Buh Buh Ray again. ROARING ELBOW on referee Jim Molino who gets in the way. ROARING ELBOW on Buh Buh Ray and he’s down. Big Dick gets involved but Axl nails him with a chair. Sign Guy stiffs Axl with a couple of sign shots. Balls nails Sign Guy with a Nutcracker Suite. All 4 men are now in the ring with chairs. The faces get nailed but shrug the shots off and get nailed again and a third time and they finally go down. They both get back up and we have DOUBLE ROARING ELBOWS to the chairs, to the face of the Dudleys. Jeff Jones can’t quite make the three count though due to an “elbow injury”. He pulls out a Japanese dictionary to communicate with Tanaka and gets nailed with a Balls chair shot. Big Dick takes Balls out though and Tanaka gets the 3-D. Tanaka kicks out! You don’t kick out of the 3-D. How did he kick out of the 3-D? The Dudleys argue and both get hit with chairs but they both kick out of the double pin. Tornado DDT and a Nutcracker Suite on chairs and they both kick out! When did the Dudleys become superhuman? Balls gets a piledriver on a chair and Tanaka takes a tiger bomb from Buh Buh Ray. D-Von throws the timekeepers table into the ring while Buh Buh gets a table too. RVD and Sabu run in! The Dudleys get several chair shots and place the Dudleys on tables. RVD and Sabu mount the turnbuckles and nail the opposite tables to their turnbuckles. Awesome. Balls and Tanaka make the cover and win the belts. Match rating – B. Lots of Roaring Elbows.

Justin Credible/Jack Victory v Tommy Dreamer/Jake Roberts

Justin is accompanied by Chastity, Nicole Bass, Jason and Lance Wright. No pop for Dreamer. This crowd sucks. Jack Victory gets backdropped over the ropes in the first sequence and doesn’t move. Dreamer takes out the heels with a pescado. Credible is having to carry the match for the heels. Jack is on his feet but is clearly in a lot of pain. Nicole Bass is the ugliest man I’ve ever seen. Jason comes in and gets a DDT from Dreamer. Credible misses a baseball slide and crotches himself. Jake with a vicious low blow on Chastity. Who are the faces in this match? Dreamer Driver on Credible. Jason has now taken Jack Victory’s place in this match. Jake tags in. Pair of short arm clotheslines. Rod Price and One Man Gang do a run in and the crowd chant for “New Jack”. Accordingly New Jack and Kronus hit the ring. Kronus drives a shopping cart into several groins. Kronus nails a 450 splash on Justin Credible. 187 Diving Chair from New Jack on One Man Gang. Dreamer with a frog splash on Credible and we have a near fall. New Jack and all the others have gone. Spicolli Driver on Credible. Chastity with a receipt on Jake for the low blow. Dreamer piledrives Chastity. Jake low blows Nicole Bass and DDT’s her to a huge pop and a chant of “ECW”. Dreamer canes Jack Victory. Dreamer launces Credible into a ladder that he brought in. Jake DDT’s Credible on the ladder and gets the 3 count. C-. Schmoz.

Terry Funk comes out and verbally and then physically assaults Tommy Dreamer. “I’ll turn my fucking back on you but I’ll never fucking hit you” – Dreamer. Segment rating – C+. Funk could have at least piledriven him.

Shane Douglas/Chris Candido/Bam Bam Bigelow v Rob Van Dam/Sabu/Taz

“Lets call a spade a spade. Taz you’re no world champion. You’re a bitch, you’re a pussy, you’re a punk” – Shane Douglas. Shane eats up about 5 minutes of mic time by saying the same thing over and over again. The Dudleys attack RVD and Sabu before they hit the ring. Taz hits the ring and clears it. Head and arm superTazplex on Buh Buh Ray. Out on the floor RVD takes a nasty bump over the guardrail. Douglas nails the Pittsburgh Plunge on Sabu. Douglas and Candido double team the injured Sabu (in a neck brace, again). Bigelow and Taz have paired off on the outside. RVD nails Bam Bam with a chair on the outside. Sabu fucks up a move onto the top rope and jumps back up and planchas onto Douglas and Candido on the floor. RVD follows with a huuuuuge plancha. He probably only did it to upstage Sabu. Sabu nails a beautiful triple jump moonsault onto Douglas. Candido piledrives Sabu and Sabu kicks out at 2 and a half. Douglas takes the neck brace off Sabu. Candido delivers a stalling vertical suplex on Sabu. This brawl has degenerated into a match and Sabu is isolated. Candido puts Taz through a table off camera. RVD has replaced Sabu in the beating. Somehow Sabu is back into the beating and the triple threat is still in charge. RVD nails a leaping sidekick on Candido and follows up with a lightning fast 5 star frog splash. Taz throws Candido over his head in a massive release German suplex. Sabu throws a chair which hits Candido in the skull. Douglas is left alone in the ring with Taz and he backs off. RVD tries to break his leg by jumping into the crowd. Then he gets back up to the top rope and does it again. Douglas misses a kip up and he gets choked out. Sabu nails Taz and Douglas with an Arabian facebuster and gets the pin. Match rating – D. Extremely messy, at least 15 minutes too short and the crowd reaction was non-existent. Terrible main event.

Best matches –

3. Nova/Meanie v Doring/Road Kill. Decent tag match demonstrating the talents of one good team and Nova. Plus the Meaniesault rules.
2. Jerry Lynn v Lance Storm. Although Tammy Lynn Crack Whore tried to ruin it these guys are awesome.
1. The Dudley Boys v Tanaka/Mahoney. Solid tag encounter with loads of ROARING ELBOWS. The ROARING ELBOW is just awesome.

Overall PPV rating – D. Probably the worst ECW show ever. The main event was such a waste of talent and wasn’t well planned or well thought out. The undercard was incredibly weak and Tammy ruined the only showstealer. A travesty. The crowd hated it and so did everyone else and rightly so. On a sidenote it’s the single sweariest wrestling show I’ve ever seen.