Repost - WWF No Mercy 99

The Furious Flashbacks – WWF No Mercy 1999

Triple H has just gone out of his way to ‘cripple’ Steve Austin and a month later he’d go a step further at Survivor Series but for the time being he’ll settle for in ring battle. Triple H’s star was swiftly on the rise and with Austin approaching his year out it was time for a change of the guard. Or was it? Stay tuned.

This PPV will be graded on the Furious Grading Scale. FGS grades are as follows –

A One of the greatest matches anywhere, ever.
A- Damn near perfect
B+ Excellent
B Very Good
B- Good
C+ Average
C Mediocre
C- Bad
D Terrible
F Hulk Hogan
U or Ungraded = Hacksaw Jim Duggan v Ultimate Warrior v Goldberg in a submissions only Ironman match. My worst nightmare.

JR and the King introduce No Mercy and out comes the Godfather.

Godfather v Mideon w/Viscera

This is not a good way to start a PPV. Godfather tells Mideon he doesn’t pimp any farm animals. Godfather starts out with a big ass powerslam. Godfather does his ‘surpreme fighting’ kick that I thought he dropped when he turned face. Godfather gets distracted by Viscera going after his ho’s. Of course Big Vis pummels Godfather and rolls him back in. Mideon goes to a sleeper. Godfather fights out but misses a Ho Train. Mideon with a scoop slam and then misses with an elbow from the second rope. Godfather in return misses a second rope splash. Godfather with a Ho Train and a roll up for 3 at 7.31. Match rating – F.

We get a 3 minute promo from Triple H backstage where he talks about how he’s got Austin all pissed off. Theres a recap of Triple H faking rattlesnake wounds the previous week. The No Mercy 99 music completely sucks. It sounds like German uber-dance. Ivory is interviewed and runs down her opponent – Fabulous Moolah. “This will be one for the ages” – JR. “Yeah – ages 70 and 80” – King.

WWF womens title – Ivory (c) v Fabulous Moolah w/Mae Young

Moolah is in her 70’s so you can guess how good this is going to be. Ivory hits a drop kick for a near fall in the early going. Moolah still manages a couple of snap mares which is nice. Moolah misses a first rope splash and in comes Mae Young. Ivory belts Mae off the apron and King is laughing his ass off. Moolah goes out to the floor and Ivory completely misses a suicide dive. Ivory knocks Mae Young off the apron again with a belt shot which might have broken her hip and Moolah rolls Ivory up for 3. Good lord. Match time – 2.55. Match rating – U

New Age Outlaws v The Hollys

This was for the tag team titles but the Rock and Sock Connection took the titles the week beforehand. Road Dogg hits all his ‘shaky’ offence but then gets isolated by the cousins. Hardcore hits a beautiful vertical suplex. Hardcore also hits his tremendous drop kick. Road Dogg takes his time but comes back with a superplex. Road Dogg was beat up for 9 and a half minutes before managing to tag in Billy. Couple of press slams, couple of stinger splashes and a jackhammer. Hardcore throws a chair in so Billy hits the Fame Asser on Crash onto the chair. The referee sees the chair and calls for a DQ against the Outlaws at 10.23. Match rating – C+. Outlaw tag match.

IC title – Jeff Jarrett (c) w/Miss Kitty v Chyna – Good Housekeeping match

This match came about because Jarrett told Chyna the womens place is as a happy homemaker. Therefore anything from the house is legal in this match. Jarrett was also wrestling despite his contract being up and therefore charged the WWF $250,000 to drop the title and turned up on Nitro the next night. Chyna starts off with a basic suplex and then she batters Jarrett with a trash can. Clothesline with a broom and then a couple of stiff shots with a frying pan. Toilet seat to the head of Jarrett. Stiff shot with a trash can lid. Chyna sets Jarrett up a table but misses an elbow from the apron and Chyna smashes herself through the table. Jarrett gets himself a two count. Jeff takes a trash can to the head of Chyna and then pastes her with a piece of fish. Ironing board into the ring and Jarrett bounces Chyna’s head off it. The old ‘flour in the eyes’ trick backfires on Jarrett and Chyna assaults Miss Kitty. Jarrett comes back in with a figure 4 leglock. Chyna makes the ropes. Chyna gets a hold of some tongs and grabs Jarrett in the crotch with them. Ouch. We have a couple of pie shots and the ring is a mess. Kitchen sink to the head of Jarrett. Chyna gets slammed on a cake (how hardcore is that?) Jarrett takes his IC belt to Chyna’s head and takes the pin at 8.32 but the officials decide the IC belt isn’t a household object and henceforth isn’t legal in this match. Jarrett goes to put the figure 4 on the referee for making the bad call and Chyna waffles him with the acoustic equaliser for the pin at 10.00. Match rating – B-. Fun match and Chyna had to go over because of Jarrett’s departure. Shame. Kitty leaves with Chyna in order to keep her job.

The Rock v British Bulldog

Each man has cost the other the WWF title in recent weeks so they’re wrestling each other. Bulldog waffles Rock with a steel chair outside the ring but doesn’t fold it up. Ouch. Rock reverses Bulldog into the ring steps though. Bulldog comes back and slams Rock on the announce table. Back inside the Bulldog does his upside down Flair corner bump and it looks like he nearly broke his neck. Horrible swinging neckbreaker from the People’s Chump. Bulldog with a vertical suplex for a two count. Rock botches a Samoan drop so badly that the crowd don’t even cheer. DDT from the Rock and a two count. Bulldog with a running powerslam and Rock gets his foot on the rope to prevent a 3 count. Rock squirms out of a second running powerslam and hits the Rock Bottom. People’s Elbow and a 3 count at 7.19. Match rating – C. Very poor in places courtesy of Rock’s shoddy offence and Bulldog being out of shape.

The next match is a ladder tag team match because of the Terri Runnels invitational tournament. The T.I.T. had been a series of matches between the Hardys and Edge/Christian which was a best of 7. The 7th and final match was here on PPV and the winner would be the team that gained the services of Terri. The Hardys were still under the tutelege of Gangrel at the time.

Tag team ladder match – Edge/Christian v The New Brood (the Hardy Boys)

Matt nearly gets beheaded on the first exchange when he gets caught in the ropes. The crowd is really quiet at the start because they know something will happen and they start a little slow. The Hardys call for Gangrel to bring in the ladders and ref boots him for being trouble at ringside. Jeff goes for the first ladder and Edge drop kicks it into his face. Matt goes for the other ladder and Christian hits him with a plancha. Jeff gets trapped behind a ladder in the corner of the ring with the ladder jammed into the canvas and Christian runs up the ladder and hits a drop kick. Sweet. Matt gets whipped into the ladder and Edge is whipped in after him but misses with the crossbody and gets nothing but ladder. Christian hits a reverse DDT on Jeff from half way up the ladder. Christian goes up and Matt side suplexes him off the ladder. Matt goes up and Edge stands underneath and powerbombs him off. Edge climbs the ladder and Jeff drop kicks him off. The Hardys lie the ladder down and slam Edge on it. Swanton bomb onto Edge onto the ladder. Ouch. Christian gets whipped into the ladder – followed up with a poetry in motion. Ladder clothesline on Christian. The Hardys set the ladder up in the corner and Jeff slingshots the ladder and legdrops Christian. Wow. Ladder over Christian and a moonsault onto it from Matt. Edge makes it to nearly the top of the ladder and Matt throws another ladder at him and knocks him off. The Hardys set up another ladder clothesline and Christian crossbodies off the top rope into the ladder to take them out. Ladder to the groin of Matt and then E + C double drop kick the ends of it into Matt’s crotch. That had to hurt. Jeff is sandwiched between the ladder and Edge wheelbarrow slams Christian onto the ladder. Ladder set up in the corner and Matt gets flapjacked into it. 2 ladders set up under the belts now. Downward spiral on Jeff off the ladder by Edge. Awesome. Matt with a neckbreaker off the ladder on Edge. Ow. Christian hip tosses Jeff over the top off the ladder. E + C set up 2 ladders in the corner – one on top of the other so they act like a see-saw. Christian and Matt fight over the see-saw while Jeff hits the turnbuckle with a butt splash onto the other end of the see-saw and he knocks Matt and Christian down. Possibly the coolest spot in the history of the ladder match. Both ladders are set up under the belts again and all 4 men get bumped onto the ropes and Matt ends up on the floor. Ladders both set up again and all 4 men go up. Matt gets pushed off but as he falls he knocks the other ladder over. Jeff jumps from one ladder to the other knocks Edge off and grabs the cash bag for the win at 16.29. Match rating – A-. Bumptacular.

Rock comes out and cuts a promo telling the crowd that he’ll take on the winner of tonights main event. Triple H jumps The Rock as he leaves the ring area and batters him with a sledgehammer to chants of “asshole”. Wicked.

Val Venis v Mankind

Mick was nearing the end of his career here and this isn’t a shining example of his abilities. At least he retired at the top. Mick goes after Mr Rocco who was in the shorts of Val. Mick sets up a chair at ringside and Val suplexes him onto it. Mick lands on the back of his head. Ouch. Mick slaps on the mandible claw so Val shoves him head first into the ring post. Val is working over Mick’s head. Chair in the ring and Val hits a russian leg sweep onto the chair. Mick misses a double arm DDT so Val mounts him and slams his head off a canvas a few times. Clothesline to the back of the head and then a knee drop to the back of the head. Bulldog from Val. Elbow from the second rope to the back of the head. Val misses the Money Shot. Double arm DDT from Mick but Val kicks out at 2. Out comes Mr Socko and Val puts on Mr Rocco and we have a duelling mandible and testicular claw. And so it came to pass that Mick Foley got pinned from a testicular claw at 10.14. A dark day. Match rating – C+

4 corner elimination match – Kane v X-Pac v Bradshaw v Faarooq

X-Pac goes for an early pescado on Bradshaw but gets caught and slammed into the ringpost. Acolytes with a double team on Kane. Kane manages an inziguri on Faarooq. X-Pac tags in to fight Kane. Bizarre. X-Pac hits a few kicks that don’t do anything so Kane takes his head off with a clothesline and in comes Bradshaw again and X-Pac tags out and the Acolytes are fighting each other. Faarooq pushes X-Pac into Bradshaw’s clothesline from hell and Kane breaks up the pinfall. X-Pac with a version of his X-Factor finisher on Faarooq and so Bradshaw tags back in. X-Pac goes outside and Faarooq bounces his head off the ring steps. Bradshaw catches X-Pac so Kane kicks Bradshaw in the face and X-Pac gets a 2 count. Faarooq with a big powerslam on X-Pac and Kane saves him again. X-Pac comes back with a tornado DDT on Bradshaw. Kane tags in and hits a flying clothesline on Bradshaw. Bradshaw with a big boot to the face of Kane but Kane comes back up with a chokeslam and pins Bradshaw at 8.25. X-Pac hits a spinning heel kick from the top rope on Kane and pins him at 8.37. X-Pac is such an ingrate. Kane saved him twice so X-Pac pins him. Faarooq threatens to powerbomb X-Pac through the announce table but X-Pac escapes. Back in the ring – spinebuster slam from Faarooq. Faarooq comes off the second rope and X-Pac meets him with an X-Factor for the pin and the match at 10.16. Match rating – B-. Quite good despite X-Pac.

WWF title – Triple H (c) v Steve Austin

Trips comes out with a sledgehammer and Vince McMahon takes it off him so obviously Trips punks him out. Austin jumps Trips in the entranceway and it’s underway. Austin whips Triple H’s ass all over the entranceway and all through the crowd. He steals someone’s crutch and breaks it over Triple H’s back. Austin suplexes Trips in aisleway and clocks him with a camera boom. Trips gets crotched on the guard rail and Austin clotheslines him into the front row. Trips comes back by slamming Austin’s head into the ring steps. After 7 and a half minutes they finally get into the ring. Trips goes for that neck choke that he used early in 2002 and I thought he never used before. Austin hits a stunner but the ref is down on the floor thanks to an earlier collision. Theres another ref bump as Trips reverses another stunner and Trips hits a pedigree and another ref comes down but Trips only gets a two count. Trips and Earl Hebner get in a shoving competition. Lou Thesz press and right hands from Austin. Trips gets thrown into the announce table and Trips is busted. Trips is whipped into the steel a couple of times and Austin chokes him with a length of wire. Trips with the ring bell and Austin is down. Trips suplexes Austin onto the Spanish announce table and it doesn’t break. Trips starts working the knee of Austin which he injured at Summerslam. Trips wraps Austin’s leg around the ring post. Trips works the knee Bret Hart style. Trips gets a 2 from a knee to the face. Trips gets a chair but loses it to Austin. Trips hits a low blow and a clothesline. Trips heads upstairs but Austin cuts him off and hits a superplex for a 2 count. They fight over the chair but Austin decks Trips and works him over with numberous chair shots. This is so over. Rock does a run in with a sledgehammer but misses Trips and nails Austin. Trips hits a pedigree on Rock and pins Austin for the 3 at 21.55. Match rating – B+. Much better than I remember.

Best matches –
3. Chyna v Jeff Jarrett. Entertaining hardcore-style match. If anyone can carry Chyna it’s Jarrett.
2. Triple H v Steve Austin. Good match with strong chair based psychology and use of previous ending at Summerslam. Clever.
1. The Hardy Boys v Edge/Christian. Cool tag ladder match. I’m amazed there was no follow up to this in the same scenario. I guess it was because of the table matches which followed it and hence TLC.

Overall PPV rating –
B+. Lots of entertaining stuff which far outweighed the bad (i.e. the opening 2 matches). The ladder match was the spark for the Hardys table match with the Dudleys and the following TLC clashes involving all 3 teams. This is where it all began. That match alone is worth checking out but, like I said, the rest of the show isn’t bad either.