Repost - WWF Royal Rumble 2000

What really irks me is I re-did all these for the purpose of archiving them on FuriousRage.com. I re-did the format and I switched to snowflakes. And now there's no FR that version doesn't exist. Balls.

The Furious Flashbacks – Royal Rumble 2000

Welcome to 2000 one of the best years in wrestling history simply because everyone was on their game. Want a demonstration? Check out this PPV featuring Cactus Jack in his almost final match against Triple H for the WWF title in a street fight. This was also the night for a big debut. But who’s was it? Stay tuned.

This PPV will be graded on the Furious Grading Scale. FGS grades are as follows –

A One of the greatest matches anywhere, ever.
A- Damn near perfect
B+ Excellent
B Very Good
B- Good
C+ Average
C Mediocre
C- Bad
D Terrible
F Hulk Hogan
U or Ungraded = Hacksaw Jim Duggan v Ultimate Warrior v Goldberg in a submissions only Ironman match. My worst nightmare.

We’re in Madison Square Garden for the Royal Rumble. Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler are on commentary.

Kurt Angle v Mystery Opponent

The WWF had sworn for weeks that the mystery opponent would not be Taz. Kurt is still unbeaten in the WWF at this point in time. The mystery opponent is obviously Tazz. The crowd goes completely mental for the arrival of the former ECW world champion. It’s one of those moments that made me mark out too. Tazz wastes no time in back dropping Kurt to the floor. Angle suplexes Tazz on the entranceway. Back inside Angle hits a belly to belly suplex. Angle gets crotched on the top rope and Tazz superplexes Angle to the mat. Angle pulls off a near fall with an inside cradle. Angle with a German suplex on Tazz and gets a long two count. Release overhead German Tazzplex. Front head and arm Tazplex. T-bone Tazplex. Tazzmission and he’s choked Angle out at 3.14. Match rating – B. Hot start and the crowd went nuts for Tazz on his WWF debut. Angle gets wheeled out by paramedics. Shame they never embellished on the impact of the Tazzmission but there ya go.

Table match – The Dudley Boys v The Hardy Boyz

Both members of a team must be driven through tables for the win. Buh Buh Ray is still stuttering. Buh Buh tells the New York crowd that his new hero is John Rocker. Controversial. Huge Buh Buh bomb on Jeff early on and in come some tables. Buh Buh nearly back body drops Jeff through a table but misses. Matt with a DDT on Buh Buh and he rolls outside but Jeff flies over the rope and onto Buh Buh on the floor. Jeff nearly knocks Buh Buh’s head off with a chair shot. Jeff comes off the rail and gets a table in the face. The Hardys aim to suplex Buh Buh through a table but D-Von moves the table. Matt pulls out a ladder from under the ring. Ladder clothesline and the Dudleys are down. Matt sets Buh Buh up on a table on the floor and climbs the ladder while Jeff ascends the turnbuckles. They both come crashing through Buh Buh and now all they need is D-Von for the set. Chants of “Holy shit” from the NYC crowd. The Hardys start setting up tables using the ring steps and put D-Von on it. Matt and Jeff both miss huge moves (Matt from the turnbuckle and Jeff through the ropes). Two more broken tables courtesy of the Hardys. The Dudleys take the ring steps into the ring and stack a table on it. Matt Hardy gets super-table-bombed and we’re down to the final fall, so to speak. All 4 men head out into the crowd. Buh Buh Ray stiffs Matt with a chair shot. The Dudleys start stacking tables in the entranceway. Buh Buh Ray stiffs the shit out of Jeff with a chair shot and he drags him over the entranceway. They’re up about 10-12 feet. Jeff chair shots Buh Buh off the balcony and he crashes through 4 tables. Matt sets up tables on the ground and lays D-Von on one. Jeff nails the Swanton Bomb from the balcony and the Hardys take it in 10.20. Match rating – B+. Very cool and a pre-cursor to those super TLC matches.

Miss Rumble 2000

This is basically a beauty pagent type thing. Sgt Slaughter and Fabulous Moolah are among the panel of judges as is Classy Freddie Blassie. The contenders are Ivory, Jackie, BB, The Kat, Luna (yeah really) and Terri. Terri is the most attractive but Jackie adds a little sass. Unfortunately there’s a late entry and it’s Mae Young. Mae decides to take her tits out and ick. The judges vote in favour of Mae Young and she’s won while Mark Henry tries to cover her up. Segment rating – C. Amusing and King was entertaining as the compere.

IC title (undisputed) Chris Jericho (c) v Chyna (c) v Hardcore Holly

Jericho and Chyna were co-holders prior to this match up so Jericho is trying to become the undisputed champion (strange how that works given what happened at the end of 2001). I feel bad for Hardcore though. He doesn’t have a belt and he gets killed off in the first 5 minutes of Operation Sandman – Warriors in Hell. Holly shoves Chyna aside and slaps Jericho. He’s my hero. Holly nails his picture perfect dropkick on Jericho. Holly goes for a hurracurana and Jericho reverses into a Walls of Jericho. Chyna breaks it up and that doesn’t sit well with the MSG crowd. Holly and Chyna spill out to the floor so Jericho planchas down onto them. Chyna nails Jericho with a DDT back in the ring and scores a two. Chyna hits a pedigree on Holly but Bob kicks out. Holly puts Chyna on his shoulders and Jericho hits a crossbody from the top off his shoulders. Chyna manages to crotch both the guys on the top rope while Jericho was attempting a superplex. Chyna superplexes Holly. Chyna KO’s Holly with a steel chair and puts him in the Walls of Jericho but Jericho takes offence and bulldogs her out of it. Jericho hits a lionsault and scores the 3 at 7.32. Match rating – B-. Any match where Jericho goes over Chyna has to be decent.

WWF tag titles – The New Age Outlaws (c) v Acolytes

Bradshaw starts out by catching Billy Gunn, then he kicks Road Dogg in the mouth and then he fall away slams Gunn. He’s a horse. Road Dogg gets isolated of course. RD goes for his shaky knee drop and Bradshaw pulls his hair. Billy comes in and Bradshaw hits the clothesline from hell. Gunn pulls the ref out while Faarooq has RD pinned. RD gets a double powerbomb but the ref is down. X-Pac does a run in and nails Bradshaw. Billy comes back in and hits the Fame-Ass-er on Bradshaw for the pin and the 3 at 2.35. Match rating – D. Nothing much doing here.

WWF title – Triple H (c) v Cactus Jack

Cactus starts out jawing with Triple H but they soon start into a brawl. They spill out to the floor early and Cactus hits a neckbreaker. Cactus drops the leg on him as he comes back in. Cactus bounces Triple H’s head off anything he can find at ringside. Triple H grabs the ring bell and KO’s Cactus Jack. Triple H grabs a chair and Cactus charges him. Triple H nearly knocks his head clean off. Cactus gets back up though and puts the chair over Triple H’s face and drops a leg on it. They go to the floor again and Triple H gets backdropped into the crowd. They fight through the crowd and come out in another entranceway. Cactus sets up a pallet and suplexes Triple H on it. Triple H has a gash in his leg and begins bleeding heavily. Triple H fights back with a suplex onto a trashcan. Triple H notices his leg is busted and goes into shock. Cactus drives his knee into Triple H’s face while Triple H is up against the ringsteps. Ouch. Cactus goes under the ring and produces a 2x4 wrapped in barb wire. Triple H gets it off him though and drills Cactus in the stomach and the back. Cactus gets it back and hits a low blow on Triple H with it but the ref takes his barbed wire bat away. Cactus can’t find the 2x4 and intimidates Earl Hebner to find it and pulls out the 2x4 again. Cactus nails Triple H in the face with the barb wire 2x4. Triple H is busted wide open. So Cactus nails him again. They get a lovely close up on the barb wire poking Triple H in the head. Cactus goes after the head wound with right hands. Triple H’s face is a crimson mask. They go to the announce table and Cactus goes for a piledriver but Triple H back drops Cactus through the table. Both men down and Triple H is bleeding profusely. Cactus bulldogs Triple H onto the barb wire 2x4 and gets a 2 count. On the outside Triple H hip tosses Cactus into the ringsteps and it looks like it would have broken his leg. Triple H picks him up and whips him into the steps knees first. Ouch. Triple H, cerebral assassin that he is, goes after Cactus’ knees with a couple of chop blocks. Triple H gets the barb wire 2x4 and drills Cactus in the knee with it. Triple H gets some handcuffs out and cuffs Cactus (as a tribute to Rock cuffing Mankind at RR99). Triple H brings the ring steps in and Cactus drop toe holds him into them. Triple H levels Cactus with a chair so hard he breaks the chair. Cactus crawls into the entranceway and Triple H waffles him with the chair again. At this point the Rock runs in and belts Triple H with a chair. Rock unlocks Cactus Jack and we have a fair fight again. Triple H's hair is now red from blood. Cactus piledrives Triple H on the spanish announce table and it doesn’t break. Ouch. Cactus goes under the ring again and pulls out a bag of thumbtacks. Cactus gets back dropped into the tacks though. Ouch, again. Triple H hits the pedigree but Cactus kicks out (I believe he’s the first ever to do that) so obviously Triple H pedigrees Cactus into the thumbtacks and takes the win at 27.12. Match rating – A. Awesome, brutal match that made Mick Foley able to retire happy.

Royal Rumble match

No 1 is D’Lo Brown, No 2 is Grand Masta Sexay. The crowd is so dead, or in shock at how good the last match was. D’Lo goes for the Sky High but GMS reverses into a hurracurrana. No 3 is Headbanger Mosh. Mosh is sporting Madonna style chest cones. Kaientai (Taka and Funaki) do a run in and get dumped. D’Lo hits the Sky High on Mosh which knocks his cones off. Mosh has injured his ankle. No 4 is Christian. Christian hits an inverted DDT on Mosh. GMS hits a nice suplex on Christian. No 5 is Rikishi.

Rikishi dumps Mosh and we have our first exit. Christian is dumped by Rikishi also. Rikishi driver on D’Lo and he dumps D’Lo. No 6 is Scotty 2 Hotty and the hip hop trio dance but Rikishi back stabs them both and dumps them both. Tremendous. No 7 is Steve Blackman. Blackman is lethally boring and he takes Rikishi down. Rikishi nails the Rikishi driver on Blackman however and dumps him to once again be alone in the ring. No 8 is another big man – Viscera. Vis hits a belly to belly but he can’t get Rikishi up and over. Rikishi dumps big Vis though with a running clothesline. No 9 is the Big Boss Man. Boss Man wastes his 90 seconds out on the floor. No 10 is Test.

Test and Boss Man fight on the floor. No 11 is the British Bulldog. Bulldog is wearing jeans instead of tights. No 12 is Gangrel. Gangrel spits his blood and gets his ass kicked by Boss Man and Test. Kaientai do another run in and get dumped again. Taka destroys his shoulder on landing and is out for about 6 months I believe. No 13 is Edge who enters to a massive pop. Rikishi hits the bonzai drop on Boss Man. No 14 is Bob Backlund. Bob smiles like an idiot as Boss Man kicks his ass. Everyone in the ring teams up and dumps Rikishi. No 15 is Chris Jericho.

Jericho dumps Backlund with a drop kick. Backlund goes into the stands to try and win some votes. No 16 is Crash Holly. Edge spanks Crash over the ropes. Bizarre. No 17 is Chyna and she goes straight after Jericho and suplexes him over the ropes. Jericho is out and Boss Man dumps Chyna while she celebrates. No 18 is Faarooq. The Mean Street Posse do a run in and go after Faarooq. Boss Man dumps Faarooq. No 19 is Road Dogg. RD is ill as I recall which is why the earlier tag match was so short and why he spends most of his time in this match hugging the bottom rope. No 20 is Al Snow in his least descript costume to date.

Bulldog gets dumped by RD. No 21 is Val Venis – the big Valbowski. Funaki does another run in and gets dumped again. No 22 is Albert. Edge gets back dropped over the ropes by Snow and Venis. No 23 is Hardcore Holly. No 24 is the Rock and the crowd goes nuts. Rock lays the Smackdown on Boss Man and dumps him. Test has now been in for nearly 30 minutes. No 25 is Billy Gunn.

Gunn goes right after Rock. Rock dumps Crash after a DDT. No 26 is the Big Show. Business is about to pick up. Show dumps Test and Gangrel. Show goes after Rock. Show press slams Hardcore. No 27 is Bradshaw. The Mean Street Posse do another run in and Bradshaw dumps them all only for the Outlaws to team up and dump Bradshaw. No 28 is Kane. Venis goes after Kane so obviously Kane dumps him with a chokeslam. No 29 is the Godfather and here comes the Ho train. Kane dumps Albert. Funaki sneaks back in again and gets dumped again. No 30 is X-Pac. Urgh.

Snow dumps Hardcore Holly. Show dumps the Godfather. Rock with a samoan drop on Al Snow and he dumps Snow. Gunn dumps his partner RD and Kane dumps Mr Ass. Kane goes under the rope to fight the Outlaws. Rock dumps X-Pac but the referees miss the elimination and he sneaks back in. Kane comes back into the ring and we'’e down to the final 4 – Rock, Big Show, X-Pac and Kane. Kane tags Show with an inziguri and then scoop slams him. X-Pac blindsides Kane though and he’s out. X-Pac hits the bronco buster on Show but Show gets his revenge by press slamming X-Pac over the ropes. Rock hits Show with everything he has including a People’s Elbow. Show comes back with a chokeslam and go to dump Rock but Rock skins the cat to get back in and he dumps the Big Show in the progress. Rock actually touched with both feet but who cares right? Match time – 51.56. Match rating – B-. Not an exceptional rumble by any means but it got better towards the end.

Best matches –

3. Tazz v Kurt Angle. Sure it was short but it showed why Tazz was worth signing. Shame they never built on the interesting beginnings.
2. The Dudleys v The Hardys. Entertaining prequel to TLC matches.
1. Triple H v Cactus Jack. Perfectly planned and brutal in it’s execution. A wonderful, wonderful thing.

Overall PPV rating –
B+. The excellent Triple H-Cactus Jack match makes it worth buying alone but you have good support and apart from the really short tag match there really isn’t any filler.