Repost - WWF Wrestlemania 14

The Furious Flashbacks – Wrestlemania 14

WM14 is X-Raided whatever that means. Shawn Michaels is defending his WWF title against Steve Austin with Mike Tyson as the less than impartial referee. Tyson actually joined DX on an episode of RAW prior to the PPV so Austin has it all to do in this one. Elsewhere Undertaker fights his own brother Kane for the first time (but not the last). But most attention was placed on the main event.

This PPV will be graded according to the Furious Grading Scale. FGS grades are as follows -

A One of the greatest matches anywhere, ever.
A- Damn near perfect
B+ Excellent
B Very Good
B- Good
C+ Average
C Mediocre
C- Bad
D Terrible
F Hulk Hogan
U or Ungraded = Hacksaw Jim Duggan v Ultimate Warrior v Goldberg in a submissions only Ironman match. My worst nightmare.

We’re in Boston, Massachussets for Wrestlemania, the showcase of the immortals. On the free for all Dok Hendrix and Sunny talk smack about the upcoming show. Michael Coleslaw attempts to interview DX but they won’t let him in. Little bitch. Jerry Lawler interviews Paul Bearer and the lights flicker on and off. Someone bought a dimmer switch. We have video packages for Michaels and Austin – both good. The DX band play a kicking metal version of the national anthem but get booed out of the building. We have another long video package “these men who shunned tradition are now destined to become a part of it”. Cool.

15 team battle royale to determine the number one contenders for the tag team titles

We don’t see all the teams announced just Kama and Faarooq who come out second from last and the returning Legion of Doom who are packaged up as LOD2000 with Sunny who looks hot. Huge “LOD” chant breaks out. I see the Godwinns, the New Midnight Express, the Headbangers, The New Blackjacks, Too Cool, lots of members of DOA and I also see Flash Funk out there. The Nation and Los Boricuas have 2 teams out there. Savio Vega is dumped early so that’s one of the Boricuas teams gone. The big Kurrgan does a run in and he pulls out Sniper and Recon. Barry Windham does a run in and dumps Chainz who’s partnering Bradshaw tonight so they’re gone too. D’Lo Brown is out along with his partner Mark Henry. This is like a really appalling Royal Rumble. Rock and Roll Express are out along with the Nation and Boricuas teams that were left. Headbangers are gone. Mark Henry is still in there for some reason. Bart Gunn dumps Scott Taylor and Too Cool are out. Henry Godwinn is fighting the DOA. Dear God. How sloppy is that? The answer is very. The final 4 teams are LOD, DOA, Godwinns and the New Midnight Express. DOA are dumped to my relief but they come back in and dump the Godwinns. Cheating bikers. LOD are left with the NME. The Godwinns come back in and knock out LOD with steel buckets. Animal comes back with a powerslam off the ropes on Bart. The LOD dump both members of NME at the same time and win at 8.18. Match rating – D. There were always too many people in the ring and to be honest there weren’t many good teams in there either.

WWF Lightheavyweight title – Taka Michinoku (c) v Aguila

Aguila is Essa Rios with a mask and doesn’t even have entrance music. Arm drag, headscissors and a spin kick from Aguila. Aguila moonsaults off the top rope to Taka on the outside. Taka goes back inside and hits a leaping plancha. Taka hits a dropkick to the face of Aguila and gets a two count. Aguila back drops Taka to the floor but comes back in off the top rope and gets arm dragged. Corkscrew wrist lock takedown from Aguila so Taka bails and Aguila hits a corkscrew suicide dive. Back inside Taka misses a twisting moonsault so Aguila hits a great moonsault press for a two count. Great jumping hurracurana from Aguila off the ropes. Missile dropkick from Taka and goes for the finisher but Aguila gets out. Aguila goes for another hurracurana and gets powerbombed. Mahistrol cradle from Aguila for another 2 count. Aguila comes off the ropes and Taka meets him with a dropkick. Michinoku driver and this is over at 5.57. Match rating – B-. Lots of high spots but no real flow.

We cut to an interview between Gennifer Flowers (who screwed Clinton) and The Rock. Rock tells Gennifer the term ‘leader’ is beneath the Rock he’s a ‘ruler’. Rock doesn’t care about the homeless situation. “If the Rock were the jury 9 times out of 10 he’d be a hung jury”. Rock was classic as a heel. Rock cracks a joke about interns. Hehe.

WWF European title – Triple H (c) w/Chyna v Owen Hart

Chyna will be handcuffed to Sgt Slaughter to make sure she doesn’t interfere. Owen kicks off with a double leg and then a back drop. Owen hits a lovely hurracurana (which JR calls correctly). Owen gets knocked outside and Chyna tries to smack him but Sarge won’t let her. Owen goes for a sharpshooter but he rakes the eyes to escape. Trips with a suplex and his curtsey gets booed. Owen eats boot in the corner and Trips gets a long 2 count off a DDT. Trips finally goes after Owen’s injured ankle. We get a close up of Owen and he broke his nose when he ate boot. Trips works the ankle with a stepover toe hold. Owen comes back by crotching Trips on the ring post and he flies off the ropes with the drop kick. Beautiful belly to belly suplex from Owen. Spinning heel kick for a 2 count. Inziguri but Owen hurt his own ankle – psychology rules. Owen goes for the hurracurana but Trips hits a powerbomb for a 2 count. Owen hits a crossbody from the ropes but only gets a 2. Trips goes for the pedigree but Owen counters by grabbing the legs and going straight into a sharpshooter which Trips powers out of. Trips goes for the pedigree again which Owen counters into a backdrop but Trips holds on for a sunset flip which Owen rolls straight through and he pops up into the sharpshooter. Awesome. Trips makes the ropes with the help of Chyna and the crowd voice their displeasure. Chyna throws powder in Sarge’s eyes and she cheap shots Owen with a low blow. Pedigree for the pin at 11.30. Match rating – B+. I really enjoyed the reversals and counters.

Mixed tag – “Marvellous” Marc Mero/Sable v Goldust/Luna Vachon

This is the match with the worst background coming into it. It’s a feud over Sable’s popularity essentially. Mero starts out with a nice headscissors. Goldie can’t hack the pace and tags in Luna. Sable gets the tag too and Luna runs and promptly tags straight out. Mero and Sable exchange tags and Sable belts Goldie with a kick. Mero opens up on Goldie with boxing style punches. Mero levels Goldie with a crossbody but Goldie fights back with a big ass right hand. Mero and Goldie collide in what can only have been something that went wrong. The girls tag in and Sable double legs Luna and wailing on her with rights and martial arts kicks. Sable even punks out Goldust on the apron. Goldie tags in and Sable doesn’t back down. Mero whips Goldie into the steps on the floor. Mero slingshots back into the ring but eats knees. Goldie counters a TKO attempt into a DDT for a 2 count. Goldie goes for the Curtain Call but Mero floats out and hits a million dollar knee lift. Merosault for a 2 count. Mero crotches Goldust on the top rope and hits the superhurracurana. Mero hits the TKO on Goldie but Luna jumps on Mero’s back to break the count. Sable tags in and pins Goldie but Luna comes off the ropes and splashes Goldie by mistake. Sablebomb on Luna but she kicks out. Catfight. Sable counters an Irish whip straight into the TKO and it’s over 9.09. Match rating – B-. I actually liked the match and I think Mero was a lot better than he got credit for.

WWF IC title – The Rock (c) v Ken Shamrock

Out comes J-E-double F, J-A-double R-E-double T. It’s Jeff Jarrett. Ain’t he great. He’s joined by Gennifer Flowers who tells the crowd that she’s had great and Jeff is great. Rock is joined by the Nation and gets a chant of “Rocky sucks”.

Shamrock starts out lightning fast and Rock sells a clothesline half the way up the ramp. If Rock get’s DQ’d he loses the belt. Rock introduces Shamrock to the ring steps. Scoop slam from Rock and he hits the People’s Elbow before it was a finisher, for the 2 count. Shamrock brings in a chair and pushes over the ref so Rocky brains him with the chair. Shamrock kicks out on 2. Shamrock hits a leaping calf kick (like D’Lo) and a powerslam for a 2 count. Ankle Lock. Rock taps out on 4.48. In comes the Nation and Shamrock belly to bellys everyone and goes back to the ankle lock. Faarooq comes out and ignores Rocky. Shamrock refuses to release the hold (the crowd is booing) so the referee reverses his decision and Rock is still the champion. Shamrock belly to bellies 3 referees that had come down to break it up. Match rating – C-. Way too short. The afterwards antics lasted as long. Probably the worst match they had. On an amusing note as they are stretchering Rock out they announce his retention of the title and Shamrock goes to attack him and he’s holding the IC belt aloft as he’s been carried away. Rock was a genius heel.

WWF tag titles/dumpster match – New Age Outlaws (c) v Cactus Jack/Terry Funk

Cactus zings Road Dogg’s head off the dumpster in the early going. RD fires back with a cookie sheet to the nogin of Cactus. Cactus misses a senton off the ring apron and bounces off the side of the dumpster. Ouch. Billy’s nose is busted early and he backdrops Funk into the dumpster. RD russian legsweep’s Cactus head first into the side of the dumpster. Funk and Cactus get the dumpster lids slammed on their heads time and time again. Billy tears off Funk’s shirt and lays in the knife edge chops. Both faces are in the dumpster but Cactus stops the lid coming down with a double mandible claw. Funk pops out with a couple of stiff shots with a cookie sheet. Cactus with a neckbreaker on RD. Funk with a neckbreaker on RD. Cactus hits a cookie sheet elbow off the apron onto Billy. Cactus throws a few toys into the ring and a ladder is in. They set the ladder up to chants of “ECW”. Cactus and Billy fight up the ladder but get pushed off over the top rope and into the dumpster (the lids were shut – ouch). Billy powerbombs Funk into the dumpster off the ring apron but Cactus has escaped out to the back. The Outlaws and Cactus fight backstage. Cactus lays out both Outlaws with a steel chair. Cactus hits a double arm DDT on Billy and lays both Outlaws on a forklift truck which Funk drives and dumps both Outlaws into a dumpster in the back. At 10.00 even Cactus and Funk are the new tag team champions. Match rating – B. Not bad and lots of brutal Cactus Jack stuff.

Undertaker v Kane

This feud has had a really long build up going back about 4/5 months to Kane’s debut but even longer to Bearer’s “murderer” revelations. This is the kind of build up for a match that just doesn’t happen anymore. Pete Rose is the ring announcer and he runs down Boston as a bunch of losers. “Last time I was here we kicked your ass. You can’t win a world series”. Pete Rose is such a heel. Kane comes out and tombstones Rose. Taker comes out to an excellent piece of classical music and druids.

Taker goes for a clothesline but Kane nails one of his own which nearly takes Taker’s head off but Taker just sits back up. Kane ties Taker in the tree of woe but just gives him a beating. Kane suplexes Taker onto the ropes and then drops an elbow off the top turnbuckle on the prone Taker. Taker covers up as Kane pummels him in the corner. Believe it or not Kane hits an electric chair drop on Taker (no it doesn’t look great). Kane works Taker over the ring steps thanks to Paul Bearer’s distraction. Kane suplexes Taker into the ring. Taker gets caught going for the flying clothesline and Kane chokeslams him for a 2 count but breaks the pin to go for more punishment. Kane slaps on a sleeper which Taker fights out of only to walk into a massive clothesline. Kane goes back to a sleeper but Taker dumps Kane onto the apron. Taker big boot’s Kane off the apron and then goes for a suicide dive over the ropes and lands through the Spanish announce table. Holy shit. Bearer tells Kane his brother is dead. Back inside Kane hits a top rope clothesline for a 2 count. Taker goes for the tombstone but Kane reverses into a tombstone of his own which he notices he’ll cripple Taker with so he just powers up Taker about 6 inches to avoid breaking his neck and then tombstones him. Awesome display of strength but it only gets a 2 count. Taker wins a fist fight and hits a chokeslam. Taker botches his tombstone so badly I thought at the time that he’d broken Kane’s neck but Kane still kicks out. Taker hits a glory leg drop and Kane sits up. Tombstone again from Taker and Kane kicks out again. Taker hits the top rope clothesline and Kane sits up again. Another tombstone from the Undertaker and that’s it at 16.58. Match rating – B. Quite entertaining for a big man match.

WWF title – Shawn Michaels (c) v Steve Austin (special enforcer – “Iron” Mike Tyson)

Shawn can barely walk thanks to a career ending back injury. This is his last match. Michaels has Triple H and Chyna at ringside. Austin is alone. Michaels prances a little so Austin gives him the finger. Michaels uses his pace in the early going as he throws a few boxing style jabs. Austin works over the leg of Michaels before he backdrops Michaels over the ropes and into Trips at ringside. Trips belts Austin so the referee boots Trips and Chyna. Austin assaults Trips as he’s leaving so Michaels jumps him. Back in the ring Michaels attempts a double axe handle but catches a fist in the guts. Michaels does a big Flair bump despite his bad back. Michaels works a head lock but Austin stun guns him out of it. Austin nearly gets a stunner so Michaels bails and Austin knocks him off the apron into the front of the announce table which makes a real solid thud. Austin goes to a sleeper but Michaels jawbreakers his way out of it. Michaels goes to wrap Austin’s leg around the ringpost but gets posted himself. Michaels backdrops Austin into the front row and waffles him with the ring bell. Michaels is in agony and whenever he thinks the camera isn’t on him it shows. As soon as he thinks he’s on camera – game face on. Michaels was a pro when he wanted to be. Michaels hurts his own back with a snap mare. Actually everything hurts Michaels back. Austin comes back with a double leg takedown and he throws Michaels over the ropes. Dear God. That must have hurt so much. Michaels wraps Austin’s knee around the ringpost. Michaels works the knee despite hardly being able to reach down to it. Michaels goes for a leg submission but gets posted for a 2 count. Michaels continues to work the knee but is in so much pain it’s amazing it’s gone this long. Austin jaws with Tyson to eat up some time and Michaels wipes his legs out with a chop block. Figure 4 from Michaels with a little help from the ropes. Austin reverses and Michaels fights out only to get catapulted into the ring post. Another 2 count for Austin. Michaels goes to a sleeper and the ref gets squashed as Austin escapes. Michaels takes another couple of back bumps to my amazement including a back body drop. There’s a double collision and Michaels nips up (are you kidding me?). What a showman. Michaels hits a beautiful elbow from the top and signals that it’s all over. Michaels goes for Sweet Chin Music but Austin ducks. Austin goes for the stunner but Michaels counters by shoving him off into the ropes and he goes for the superkick as Austin comes off the ropes. Austin catches the foot, spins Michaels round and hits the stunner. But there’s no referee so Mike Tyson comes in and counts to 3 thus ending Shawn’s career at 20.01. Match rating – B+. I’ve given extra points because of Michaels being injured. Tyson punks out Michaels and puts a 3:16 shirt over his head. Show over.

Best matches –
3. Cactus Jack/Terry Funk v New Age Outlaws. Cactus and Funk took bumps all over the place to put the Outlaws over as heels. The Outlaws joined DX the next night and never looked back.
2. Shawn Michaels v Steve Austin. Shawn’s final match was a long way from his best work but it was great to see the effort Shawn put in to put Austin over.
1. Triple H v Owen Hart. Hidden away in the middle of card was the match with the best psychology and best counters and reversals. Nice stuff and a shame the feud sort of lost it’s heat when Trips went face.

Overall PPV rating –
B-. Nothing on this PPV was really amazing but most of it was very solid and generally it was enjoyable. Trips and Owen put on a great match and I get the feeling that a fit and healthy Shawn Michaels would have made the main event a simply unmissable match.