I re-did this and did a much better job of it last year. This version I'm posting so show how things have changed in terms of my opinions and wrestling in general. I over-rated pretty much every match on this show but because there's no snowflakes you'd never know. My second review. Ah, bad times. Great memories.
Furious Flashbacks 2 – WCW Starrcade 99
Welcome to the Furious Flashbacks. Glad you all enjoyed our last trip back in time to 1998 and the King of the Ring. I decided to do something a bit different for the second one and head south to Ted Turner’s WCW. We’re back in the 90’s again here to capture the final PPV performance of Bret “Hitman” Hart. As a Bret Hart fan I wasn’t happy to see Bret go out the way he did – i.e. screwed by an errant Goldberg kick. This is the PPV that it happened on. To see what else was going down in the wacky world of WCW – stay tuned.
This PPV will be graded on the Furious Grading Scale. FGS grades are as follows –
A One of the greatest matches anywhere, ever.
A- Damn near perfect
B+ Excellent
B Very Good
B- Good
C+ Average
C Mediocre
C- Bad
D Terrible
F Hulk Hogan
U or Ungraded = Hacksaw Jim Duggan v Ultimate Warrior v Goldberg in a submissions only Ironman match. My worst nightmare.
As Tony Schiavone and Scott Hudson (and Bobby Heenan) talk about the greatest Starrcade ever (I’m guessing they mean this one?) Well I think they’re wrong already. Opening match features Disco Inferno. Anyway tonight features Nash v Sid in a powerbomb match and Bret v Goldberg in a face v face main event.
Disco Inferno/Lash LeRoux v Big Vito/Johnny The Bull w/Tony Marinara
Tony Marinara went on to become bump machine Tony Mamaluke in ECW as one half of the FBI with Little Guido. Everyone else in this match went on to do nothing. The Italians work over Lash for a few minutes before Disco gets the hot tag to a huge pop. Hmm. I guess WCW’s fans were one of the reasons why it failed. Disco then gets isolated by the heel tag tactics of the Italians. Some nice double teaming puts the “Goon Squad” over as my personal favourites in the match. A big boot leads straight into a neckbreaker. I timed this – they double teamed Disco for over 4 minutes before Lash got back in. The guys in this match try some innovative stuff but more often than not they botch it. Johnny The Bull attempts a Lance Storm leap to the top rope only to fall off. Disco Inferno accidentally gives the Stunner, I mean “Last Dance” to Lash by mistake. Big Vito nails an Edge style DDT on Lash and the Goon Squad wins it thanks to Disco’s own mistake. The Italians pull out a body bag and load Disco Inferno in it. Match grading – C- too many mistakes but I have to praise the attempts at great moves. Shame the best wrestler in the match was outside on the floor for the whole time.
Out the back Disco is loaded into the trunk of a car by the Italians and they drive off. “Disco Inferno was 25” – Bobby Heenan. The announce team work a link by talking about the forthcoming matches while the crowd screams like a bunch of lunatics. What were they putting in the sodas down in Atlanta? Fat Tony Schiavone announces that Scott Hall has been stripped of the US title and it has been awarded to Chris Benoit. Sounds like on the fly booking to me. Out comes the Crippler – Chris Benoit. He is the new United States Heavyweight champion without wrestling for it. The crowd boo while Scott Hudson talks about it being a popular decision (did that guy actually listen to the crowd?) Benoit claims he didn’t want it that way and he wants a ladder match here tonight against anyone. Segment rating – F. Completely worthless. It didn’t work the crowd like it was supposed to.
Evan Karagias v Madusa (Cruiserweight title and a battle of the sexes)
Madusa is Alundra Blayze from the WWF. Evan Karagias is a tool. Madusa kicks off with a crossbody before Evan even got into the ring. Madusa gets whipped into the ring steps but gets back into it right away. Evan doesn’t spare the woman anything and slams and punches her as much as he would a male opponent. Madusa is fighting for credibility apparently. Madusa botches a simple bridge spot and then botches a powerbomb so badly she nearly cripples Evan. The crowd is actually chanting “boring” at this point. Spice (Evan’s valet) distracts Evan and Madusa attacks him from behind. Spice hits a low blow that Evan doesn’t notice. Madusa nails a German suplex for the win and the belt. Match rating – F. Goddamn awful. They missed more spots than they hit.
Mean Gene interviews Norman Smiley backstage about his match with Meng for the hardcore title. Smiley cuts a funny promo before warning a producer not to make any sudden movements because “he’s a coiled spring”. Hilarious. Norman tells Mean Gene that he’s soiled his pants. Segment rating – B+. It set up the match in a few seconds of comedy.
“Screamin’” Norman Smiley v Meng (Hardcore title)
Smiley wears full football gear including a helmet to protect himself. He starts screaming before the match has even started. Meng batters Smiley with several hardcore weapons (the trashcan – classic). They fight backstage and Smiley nails Meng with a chair but doesn’t get him down. Smiley keeps hitting Meng but Meng keeps ignoring him. Smiley gets slammed through a table. Fit Finlay then comes in out of nowhere with Brian Knobbs and they attack Meng. Meng fights them off until Finley lays Meng out with a steel pipe. Smiley drags himself out of the wreckage of the backstage set and pins the unconscious Meng. Match rating – D. Although it was nice to see Nick Patrick get the Tongan death grip after the match. Apart from that it was basically trash cans for a couple of minutes.
Oklahoma has a mic backstage but he’s jumped by the Misfits. Dr Death Steve Williams is wrestling Vampiro tonight. Meanwhile David Flair opens a present and discovers a gold crowbar. Segment rating – C.
Hacksaw Jim Duggan cuts a “promo” about the upcoming 8 man tag where he has 3 mystery partners against the Revolution.
The Revolution (Shane Douglas/Dean Malenko/Perry Saturn/Asya) v Hacksaw Jim Duggan + 3 guys.
The Revolution are playing the role of American hating jerks. Douglas cuts a quick promo and out comes the mystery team. They are the Varsity Club. Rick Steiner, Mike Rotundo and Kevin Sullivan with cheerleader Kimona Wanalaya. Douglas goes on commentary because the Revolution can win without him. Duggan looks like a tramp. Duggan doesn’t tag anyone and fights first Malenko then Saturn. Saturn misses a big moonsault. After a triple team the Varsity club come piling in. The Varsity club clear the ring and then kick Duggan’s ass. It’s a heel turn after 10 minutes as faces. Shane Douglas comes into the ring from commentary and pins Duggan and the only audible sound from the crowd is applause. What a company. Match rating – D. Malenko was wasted in an 8 man tag and it didn’t make any sense. Horrible.
Backstage the Misfits have Oklahoma locked in a cage so they can make sure Vampiro can get him later.
Vampiro v Dr Death Steve Williams
Vampiro gets 5 minutes with Oklahoma if he wins the match. Oklahoma has his mic on the whole match. For those of you who didn’t follow WCW in it’s final days Oklahoma was a parody of Jim Ross as is all his comments along with Fat Tony’s bad comments. Williams focuses on taking out the legs of Vampiro. Vampiro’s selling isn’t exactly great though. WCW has 4 commentators on this match and it’s a mess. The Misfits come into the ring and Williams beats them mercilessly including a massive back drop over the top rope. Williams does manage a nice suplex out of a Vampiro spin kick. Williams mounts Vampiro and pummels him with right hands but apparently that’s breaking the rules in WCW and Charles Robinson tries to get him off. Williams takes exception and nails Charles Robinson. Vampiro is down but has won the match. Oklahoma now has to face 5 minutes alone with Vampiro. The crowd is chanting “bullshit”. Well to be fair to them it was a BS DQ. Oklahoma gets in there and Fat Tony says “business is about to pick up”. Oh you’re so funny Fat Tony. Oklahoma assaults the fallen Vampiro who must have taken all of 3 moves in his match with Williams. Vampiro sells more for Oklahoma than he did for Steve Williams. Eventually Vampiro gets back into it with a Rock Bottom. Vampiro and the Misfits beat the hell out of Oklahoma in a 5 on 1 beating. Vamp hits the Nail in the Coffin and it’s over. Match rating – C- The Misfits suck.
Backstage (again) Booker T claims that Harlem Heat and Midnight are an unstoppable team. Stevie Ray tells Booker T that he won’t watch his back tonight and he walks off. It’s at this nonsensical point that I realise Vince Russo is booking the show. That actually explains a lot.
Tag team title number one contenders match – Harlem Heat v Creative Control (the Harris Brothers)
Stevie Ray doesn’t show up so it’s Booker and Midnight against the Harris Brothers. Midnight looks like a muscular black Chyna. As Curt Hennig tags in I realise it’s actually meant to be a 6 man tag. Stevie Ray comes out and tries to talk to Booker T but Booker ignores him as he isn’t looking for a tag. Midnight takes a beating for most of the match. Booker gets a hot tag but Hennig nails Booker with brass knuckles. Stevie Ray is busy arguing with Midnight. Stevie Ray walks off as soon as he’s sure the match is over. Creative Control are the number one contenders. Match rating – C. At least Hennig was in the match.
Backstage Dustin Rhodes and Jeff Jarrett are fighting and it’s the start of…
Dustin Rhodes v Jeff Jarrett (Bunkhouse Brawl)
Jarrett loads Rhodes into a wheelbarrow. Jarrett wheels Rhodes into the security railing. Rhodes hard slams Jarrett into the wheelbarrow and that’s the end of that prop. Rhodes gathers together some weapons and we head for the ring. Rhodes breaks a stick over Jarrett’s back. The classic Rhodes weapon – the cowbell on a bullrope. Rhodes clocks Jarrett with the bell over and over again. Jarrett clocks his head off the ring post courtesy of Rhodes again. Back in the ring and Rhodes breaks out ‘powder’ which he throws in the face of Jarrett. Rhodes then takes his belt off and whips Jarrett. Then he whips the ref. Then he tapes the referee to the ropes and gags him. Jarrett gets back into it with a low blow and starts wearing out Rhodes with the belt. Hennig comes out to untape the referee. Jarrett breaks a stick over Rhodes back as a receipt. Jarrett slaps a sleeper on Rhodes. After Rhodes escapes Hennig starts interferring on Jarrett’s behalf. Rhodes does his corner groin kick on Jarrett but the referee is pulled out by Hennig. Rhodes gives Hennig the corner groin kick and that should end the interventions. They fight into the entranceway where Hennig gets back into it only for Rhodes to bulldog him on the floor. Jarrett climbs the ladder that’s set up for Benoit’s ladder match later with his acoustic equaliser. He nails Rhodes with the guitar and this one is over. Match rating – B. Best match on the card thus far.
Backstage David Flair attacks a soft toy with a crowbar. Hello?!?
Diamond Dallas Page v David Flair (Crowbar on a pole match)
Flair jumps Page before the match starts by coming through the crowd and nailing him with a crowbar. Page is down on the floor and not moving. Page drags himself into the ring and Flair works the back that he just hit with the crowbar. Flair demonstrates a few nice wrestling counters before nailing DDP with a DDT. DDP is worn down and Flair slaps on the figure 4 leglock. DDP reverses it and Flair breaks the hold. Flair goes and gets the crowbar from the pole but out of nowhere comes the Diamond Cutter. He never saw it coming. Match rating – C+. Not bad considering how green David Flair is. After the match DDP tries to batter Flair with a crowbar and Daffney comes out to protect Flair. It’s Daffney’s debut so the announcers don’t know who she is.
Sting v Lex Luger
Sting is accompanied by Elizabeth who used to be Luger’s valet and Sting is fighting for her freedom from Luger. Interesting to note that although most of them sucked Russo did give everyone a storyline. On their way out Sting gives Liz some new mace. Luger starts off fast but keeps stopping to taunt Liz. “Clothesline-o-mania” – Fat Tony. Worst commentator of all time. Liz grabs the can of mace and goes to check on the fallen Luger. Sting has worked out that Liz cares about Luger and taps her on the shoulder. Liz attempts to use the mace that Sting gave her but it’s silly string. Sting tells Liz to get the hell out. Sting nails Luger with 2 Stinger splashes and goes to put on the sharpshooter. Liz comes into the ring with a baseball bat. Sting tells her to put the bat down and goes back to the sharpshooter but Liz picks the bat back up and nails Sting with it. The referee calls for the DQ and Luger attempts to break Sting’s hand under a chair. Match rating – U. A perfect example of what happens if you let old wrestlers wrestle a match on a PPV. Luger should be shot.
Kevin Nash v Sid Vicious (Powerbomb match)
This is a typical Nash match. Not much entertainment. They spill out to the floor and Sid goes for the powerbomb outside the ring but Nash gets out of it. The referee gets squashed in the corner and Sid powerbombs Nash. Jarrett comes out of nowhere and nails Sid with a guitar. Nash tries to powerbomb Sid but he can’t get him up. So instead of doing it he just tells the referee that he powerbombed him and the referee believes him. The referee believes him. Dear God. Match rating – what match?
Chris Benoit v ? (Ladder match for the US title)
Benoit’s opponent is…Jeff Jarrett. Jarrett is wrestling his second match of the night and seeing as his other match was the best on the card so far I think that’s great news. Before the ladder is even in the ring Benoit has superplexed Jarrett. Benoit goes for the ladder. Jarrett drop kicks the ladder into Benoit before he makes the ring. Then he comes outside the ring and drops Benoit onto the ladder which is hanging out of the ring. Jarrett sets the ladder up in the corner but Jarrett is reversed into the ladder. Benoit has been cut somewhere around the nose. Benoit tries to go for the belt and Jarrett takes him down onto the ropes. Jarrett props the ladder up again and Benoit is thrown into it. Jarrett puts Benoit up onto the ladder as it’s propped in the corner with Benoit’s leg going through the steps and then Jarrett pulls it out of the corner with Benoit attached. Nice spot but it was better when Benoit re-did it with Jericho. Benoit hangs Jarrett upside down on the ladder while Benoit is climbing on the other side. Jarrett pulls it over with himself attached. Benoit is then tipped off the ladder and onto the ropes. Benoit then pushes Jarrett off the ladder in the opposite direction and Jarrett is crotched. Benoit gets up the ladder again and Jarrett climbs the turnbuckle. As Benoit is at the top of the ladder reaching for the belt Jarrett drop kicks the ladder away. Benoit goes straight south. Nice spot. Benoit is whipped into the ladder but rolls under it before popping up on the other side, coming off the ropes and drop kicking the ladder into Jarrett’s face. Benoit has the match won but he just can’t resist a diving headbutt from the top of the ladder. He goes straight back up and gets the belt. Match rating – A-. It’s not often you see a ladder match complete with psychology because it’s not easy to do. Plus Jarrett wrestled 2 good matches in one night.
WCW World title –
Bret “Hitman” Hart v Bill Goldberg
The two men shake hands before the match starts. They start with a test of strength which Goldberg wins, twice. Bret gets Goldberg in a headlock and takes him down to the mat. Goldberg powers out of it. Goldberg lifts Bret up into a Gorilla press and slams him over his shoulder. Goldberg keeps knocking Bret down with clotheslines. Goldberg with a rolling leg lock but you can’t outwrestle Bret who counters it into a sharpshooter which Goldberg powers out of. The referee takes a bump out on the floor and this has turned into a brawl. Charles Robinson has come out to ref the match. Goldberg is using the announce table and the security railing to wear Bret out. Back into the ring and Goldberg uses the big boot. Goldberg slams Bret and knocks out referee Charles Robinson. Goldberg tries to spear Bret in the corner but Bret moves out of the way and Goldberg is down. Bret goes to the outside and attempts a figure 4 around the ringpost which Goldberg ignores. Goldberg fails to grab the leg and Bret falls on his head. On concrete. Goldberg is a tool. “Goldberg blocked it partially”. Jesus Christ. How can you justify that? Bret is down on the floor holding his head. That could well have been a concussion. We’re onto our third referee of the encounter. Bret smells blood and starts going after the leg of Goldberg. After a few strikes to the knee Bret works in a figure 4 leglock. Goldberg appears to be busted open. Goldberg turns the figure 4 over and Bret breaks the hold. Bret manages to knock another referee out and Goldberg nails Bret in the face with a stiff kick. That did give Bret a career ending concussion because Goldberg didn't bend his leg. Asshole. Spear on Bret. Roddy Piper comes out to officiate the match! Bret goes back to the leg and puts him in the sharpshooter again. Piper calls for the bell as soon as the sharpshooter is applied. Piper gives the belt to Bret and Goldberg got screwed. Excellent. Match rating – B. Bret Hart was awesome working the body part.
Best matches –
3. Goldberg v Bret Hart. Somewhat short considering the importance of the match but any Bret Hart is better than no Bret Hart.
2. Jeff Jarrett v Dustin Rhodes. Despite the Hennig run in this match had a good flow and I think Jeff Jarrett worked some fine selling into it.
1. Chris Benoit v Jeff Jarrett. Ladder match with psychology as opposed to big spots. Doesn’t always work but look who was in this match.
Overall event rating – C. I have to call this event mediocre because of all the crap I had to sit through before I got to Jarrett, Benoit and Bret Hart. In fact if you took those 3 guys out of the show you have nothing.
Any suggestions for future flashbacks? You know where to find me.
“You like the old shit?”
Arnold F
No comments:
Post a Comment